Finding Calm Within the Chaos

 

I teach a weekly meditation class for the last several years. I love my students who faithfully show up even when they may not be feeling well. Showed up when we were still in a pandemic and were forced to meet outdoors in all kinds of weather while wearing a mask. But I believe our sanga (community) supported us through some of the most difficult times in our history. They helped me as much as we all helped each other. 

We were all grateful when the world started to open up again. Grateful to be able to leave the house and travel. Grateful to see family and friends we had not hugged in years. So how is it, with all this gratitude going around the collective world, there is so much dissonance, war and hate dominating the world right now?

I figured I couldn't be the only one feeling angst, anxiety and stress over the distressing events occurring around us. Even as an experienced meditator, I felt all of the above feelings. Last straw was waking up Tuesday morning to jaw and mandibular pain. Enough was enough. I needed to take my emotional health into a higher gear and share my healing practice with my students.

I am sharing this Tuesdays class with you. I hope it helps anchor and center you amongst the chaos surrounding us these days.

Emotional flexibility is a trait that people with strong mental resilience possess. It is the ability to hold many different emotions at once and not allow the negative ones to poison the well. It is a skill that is not easy to master but the key is to remain present with whatever emotion bubbles to the surface. The following meditation allows me to come back from the murkiness of the negative emotions vying for my attention during chaotic times.

Find a quiet space and sit. Close your eyes or lower your gaze and focus on the rhythm of your breath. Try to breathe in and out of the nose if possible. Begin to scan the body for any areas that feel tense and send the breath there to release it. Now, begin diaphragmatic breathing. This is where we engage the entire diaphragm and divide it in thirds. The upper section is the lungs, middle section is the solar plexus above the navel, lower section is below the navel. As you inhale lightly fill each section, not forcefully but mindfully. On the exhale, expel the breath the same way. Think of it as a wave of breath. Do this for 5 minutes. If you get dizzy, just return to a normal breathing pattern and ditch the diaphragmatic breathing.

Your mind should have less thought traffic moving through it and you are ready for the next part of this meditation.

Return to normal breathing and drop your attention like a plumb line down towards the middle of your chest, into your heart space and allow it to rest there until you feel the heart expand and relax. Stay present and stay with the breath and focus on the heart space. If the heart space feels blocked, visualize a small opening with a beam of light shining through it dispersing the blockage until the heart space releases.

From this place of resting in the heart, get in touch with the emotions you are feeling. Anger, lack of control, anxiety all come from Fear. All emotions are energy so let go of the "reason" for the negative emotion and focus on the sensation within the feeling. Next, move your focus to a subtle energy in the background, the awareness from where the feeling arises and subsides. Allow the feeling or emotion to  just float there, without trying to control it in any way. Eventually notice how the feeling of anxiety, anger or lack of control slowly dissolves into the subtle energy of awareness and is transmuted by the love, kindness and compassion that is also being held in that container of the heart. Allow those feelings to alchemize the negative ones and either dissolve or dissipate them. 

This works well in a controlled setting but what about those times you are either at work or in your car and the negative emotions overwhelm you? Try this hack for a quick switch.

When you find the anger, anxiety or fear begin to overtake your mind, think of a quick counter thought to it. Find a phrase or a word that resonates with you, as an example " I will keep my heart open and act from Love". If that's too Pollyannaish for you, come up with a wittier one. Sometimes when I vehemently disagree with someone, I remind myself to find common ground, even if it is in my mind. We all want what is best for our children and loved ones, we all want better communities, we all want to get home safe. When I can remember that as I look into someone's eyes it helps to dissipate the anger bubbling up inside. And if all else fails, take 10 deep breaths before speaking. Or walk away.

In my past posts I speak of the physical and emotional damage stress causes us. We cannot control what is going on in the world but we CAN control how we react to it and how we allow it to affect us. 

Do not allow it to poison the well of your heart.

We Have All Had a Will Smith "Moment"

 It is impossible to ignore the "slap heard around the world", it's on every news outlet. I am not going to express my opinion or hash over what is trending online. My takeaway from this is more spiritually based.

Be honest, we've all done or said something we regretted after. Where we could have handled it differently. We were triggered by a comment, an event and it set our protective ego off. Our lower self took over and reacted. Are there times when that is warranted? Absofuckinglutely! Spellcheck didn't recognize that one 😂

We are imperfect human beings to be sure. Yet Tantra yoga teaches us to accept and love ourselves with all our blemishes, imperfections and faults. Even embrace them. After all, an imperfect diamond still shines and sparkles. Shining the light of self awareness on those imperfections allows us to sift through the qualities in ourselves that damage from the ones that make us the unique, amazing souls that we are. After all, no diamond is exactly alike. Being quirky, thinking outside the box, even a bit odd adds technicolor to our human experience.

When we find ourselves triggered, that is our cue to take a time out. Take a deep breath, maybe ten, and then choose our next step wisely. And perhaps recall the 3 Gates of Speech from the Buddha, which states:

Before you Speak, Ask Yourself:

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

There is a Fourth Gate if the other three are a Yes.

Is it the Appropriate Time to Say It?

How do we shine the light of self awareness into those dark recesses of our mind and coax them out Before they set us off? The act of meditating, sitting still with ourselves hones the practice of self-awareness. Self awareness activates that filter between thought and action so we no longer react to something unconsciously. We are able to view ourselves through the lens of an observer, taking the whole picture in like the lens of a camera, without judgement or bias. This all, of course, happens very quickly but that is where a regular meditation practice comes to bear fruit.

Have there been times that even after Knowing my subsequent action was reactionary, and perhaps even inappropriate, I forged ahead anyway? Absofuckinglutely LOL  But I was fully aware of my actions and the wrath or reaction it would create. I don't think Chris Rock or Will Smith thought that last part out.

Remember, Ego is trying to protect you or give you a self esteem boost. It doesn't care who else it may harm while taking care of you. Ego can be self-centered and short sighted. And when in doubt, always act from Love NOT Fear.

Our Brain Needs Pushups!

 

We now know exercise helps the brain build new pathways, so the old saying that after a certain age we could not is now defunct.

New research at UCSF shows that the more physical activity we do, the more protective proteins we build in our brain tissue. The study subjects were 70-90 years old. This protective brain tissue wards off dementia and Alzheimers.

As I posted in this past article, exercise doesn't have to be tough on joints or extremely taxing to achieve health results, just start moving!

In my next article,  we will get into HOW to start an exercise habit and KEEP it. It's remarkably simple and easy!

Love is the Answer

 Knowing This (Fill In the Blank), How Do I Love the World? In todays' environment that Blank could be filled a thousand times but I want you to fill it with what hurts your soul. We become almost numb by all the bad news and then something comes along that slaps us in the face and stops us in our tracks. For me, it was the murder of a friend's stepdaughter by her estranged husband. Having never met her, I broke down sobbing, heaving and a pain clutching my chest. 

"Why is there so much hate in the world"? It was too much to bear. For an empath, these are tricky,  perilous waters we navigate. How do we keep our hearts open, filled with light and love when faced with atrocity?

At our most basic, every action we take, every thought we have is rooted in either Fear or Love. To quote from the must read book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, this is what Fear and Love look like:

Fear is the energy that contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. 

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, Love allows us to stand naked.

Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, Love gives all that we have away.

Fear holds close, Love holds dear.

Fear grasps, Love lets go.

Fear rankles, Love soothes.

Fear attacks, Love amends.

Beautiful isn't it? Being self aware enough to know where our thoughts and actions come from, enables us to choose differently. Gives us the capacity to change our trajectory, course of action. Meditation is the birthing place of self awareness, where we shift our view of the world from "I" the ego to the selfless, to the all encompassing "oneness". Where we remember we are all tethered by an unbreakable thread of connection. Does this awareness make atrocities any easier to witness or face? It does not. What it does do is remind us to focus on the light not the darkness. To have faith that there is more good than bad, simply put.  That instead of wanting to close down, shield up from pain, hang a NO Vacancy sign on our hearts, we honor the victims by keeping up the good fight, by helping others in turn, by offering support to those who are suffering. We recognize the darkness and shine our light on it to force it out of hiding. 

Because that is what LOVE does.

A Couple's Weight Loss Success Story

 Roy, at 76, lost 44lbs and 8 inches off his waistline in Five months and Trish, at 69, lost 22lbs of fat and 4 inches off her waistline. How did they do it? These are the concrete steps they took. 

1. They wanted to get back to their pre-pandemic exercise routine but were not comfortable going back to a gym setting as Covid is still prevalent. So they made the decision to hire a Personal Trainer that would come to their home. They chose to invest in themselves and their health.

2. After our preliminary meeting, we got to work. Every personal trainer will take body measurements and perform a senior fitness test to assess a baseline. Their main goal was to lose weight along with physical conditioning. We set a reasonable timeline for a specific amount of weight loss and off we went! With their Personal Training package purchase, came a Free nutritional assessment.

3. I met with R & T monthly. I checked up on them weekly to see how they were progressing, what wasn't working, any questions or concerns they had. Nutrition is a huge component for weight loss, after all, you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet!! We tweaked their nutritional intake as we progressed along.

4. R & T were diligent about exercising and following a nutritional diet, even switching to a low carb beer! They motivated each other and seeing the scale go down along with their blood work numbers improve dramatically kept them on track and encouraged them to do more.

5. We added HIIT training to encourage fat loss but keep muscle and they loved that! Who doesn't love HIIT? 20 minutes and you're done!

6. They are a hip, adorable couple always willing to learn, adapt and try new things. One of those new things was a fitness tracker and a food journal app for their phone. Dare I say, they are addicted to the fitness tracker. Who of us isn't? Such a cool way of tracking calories burned, heart rate, sleep patterns, even oxygen levels.

Roy surpassed the weight loss goal we set by 14 lbs. Trish did phenomenal and her entire weight loss was in fat lbs. Yes, we can measure that! More importantly, they feel better, look great and have more energy to play with their grandchild and do the activities they love. This Christmas, Roy's Santa outfit didn't fit, Mrs. Claus had to add padding LOL But the kids didn't notice.

As we enter a New Year, get clear on what fitness and health goals you want to accomplish for yourself. Be specific. Remember, to create a new habit we must break or lose an old one. Then, take action towards that goal. Whether it's hiring a Personal Trainer, a Nutritionist, joining a gym or starting a walking program with a friend. Every step counts. 

As a Holistic Fitness Coach I focus on all aspects of health, including physical, nutritional and emotional. I have several different programs to fit your budget. As a lifelong fitness enthusiast and long time fitness instructor, my goal is to build a successful fitness coaching business. To encourage that, my rates today are very reasonable to help promote growth and a referral source. What are you waiting for?

                                                    Roy December 2021, Santa bought smaller jeans
 

Halloween Season Meditation

 This is our last pause before the holiday season rushes in and for some, Halloween marks the end of the year or cycle as a new one begins. Whatever your beliefs are, this meditation helps ground us and prepare for the new year soon approaching.

If you are fortunate enough to have a hearth or outdoor firepit, do this meditation while enjoying the glow of a real fire. Otherwise, use your imagination or YouTube provides countless fireplace videos to use as a background.

First, turn off all distractions and get comfortable in your seat. Close your eyes or lower your gaze and begin to focus on your breath. Don't force the breath, just become aware of its rhythm. Notice if it becomes stuck anywhere, its pace, if it's shallow. If need be, place a hand on your belly and feel it rise and fall with the breath. As we change our breath, we change our emotion. Allow inhale and exhale to slow down and stay present with the breath. Do this for about five minutes until you begin to feel yourself relax a bit more, the mind slowing down its thoughts.

Now, place your hands wherever its comfortable and visualize a roaring, crackling fire warming your skin. Its flames dancing and licking the glowing hot logs. This is a holy fire, the Diving fire of Grace, God or the Universe. Fire not only destroys but also transforms and provides. We will play with all three aspects in this meditation.

Bring to mind three habits, aspects, thoughts or thought patterns, feelings you want to let go. Whether they are negative self talk or aspects of your personality that no longer serve you, hold you back from being happy, or confine you. Mentally write each one down on a piece of paper, thank them for protecting you in the past and then toss each one into the fire. As they burn, feel yourself being freed from these invisible chains to well-being, a burden lifted off your soul. By "destroying" these negative patterns we create space, clear sacred ground for something new. 

What do you want more of? Peace, love, financial security, good health? Conjure up three life changes that will bring you more happiness. Once identified, which one will possibly bring you all of them? Drill down to the original seed that will sprout and grow into contentment for you. This is the seed you will plant and cultivate in this sacred ground you cleared. You are always welcome to add more seeds. But for now let us start with one. 

Now comes the transformation. What concrete steps will you take to achieve this life change? As you cannot just plant a seed and expect it to reach its full potential without nurturing it, so it goes with what we want to create in our lives. Choose three to five concrete actions, big or small, you can take right now or in the immediate future and mentally jot them down on pieces of paper. View these as offerings to make and toss into the Divine Fire. 

Next, how will this life change feel inside you? How will it provide and transform your life? See the change as if it has already happened, feel it in your soul, your mind and body. What we think, we create. By providing our desire with a positive, nurturing environment to flourish we encourage the change to occur.

Take the next few minutes to silently sit with your elevated emotions and lean into it.

Happy Autumn Season to you 

WALK YOUR WAY TO WELLNESS

 

We have a saying in the exercise community " The slower your steps, the closer you are to Death". OK, not uplifting but you get the point. Two relatively new studies highlight the truth in that saying. The conclusion from them was that no matter what your race, sex, comorbidities or diet the following held true. 

To live longer, those who took 7,000+ steps daily were 50% less likely to die early. Take 9,000 steps and that increases to 70%. And no, taking more than 10,000 steps did not make a difference in mortality. So the sweet spot seems to be 7,000-8,000 steps daily including 30-45 minutes of intentional exercise most days of the week. What kind of exercise you ask? They include swimming, tennis, biking, jogging, weightlifting, aerobic exercise, soccer...anything that will get your heart rate up for 30-45 minutes. That can include fast walking or hiking as well. Those who exercised MORE than 10 hours a week lost 1/3 of mortality benefits. This is not the first study to mention how TOO much exercise can be bad for you.

How to get started on an exercise program? If you have been sedentary for a while, start with a visit to your PCP for a general check up and mention your plan on starting an exercise program. Once cleared for exercise, the best gift you can give yourself is to meet with a Certified Personal Trainer to get started. Some Trainers, such as myself, are also Certified Nutritionists and you can add on that service for a weight loss program. 

If you cannot afford a Personal Trainer, no problem. There are plenty of sites online that can help you get started. Start with tracking your steps for 3 days. Strap on a wearable fitness tracker, such as Apple Watch or Fitbit (I love my Fitbit), and wear it from morning till night. Most smart phones have a Health App preinstalled and track your steps, but you would have to carry your phone everywhere and unless you're a Millenial or a Gen Z'er you probably don't. This will give you a good idea of how many steps you are taking already. To increase your steps, add 1,000 steps to what you are already doing regularly for a week and see how you do. Once you have reached that goal consistently ( 6 out of 7 days), add another 1,000. And so on till you reach your goal. 

Small ways to increase your steps include the following: 

1. Park further away, not only will you add steps but your car won't get dinged as much! If parking in a strip center where you will shop at a couple of different stores, park in between both places and walk back and forth from there. 

2. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. 

3. Master the art of inefficiency. Instead of gathering a bunch of items and moving them from one room to another in one trip, try taking several trips. As I get older this becomes easier, since I forget what I need in that room half the time now LOL. So my forgetfulness is benefiting my steps.

4. Get a dog! Or walk your dog every day if you do not already. When I first got my Fitbit I was obsessed with making my steps. So if by evening I was going to fall short, I would grab the leash and take my Aussie for a second walk. She loved it and we both lost weight!

5. Find a walking buddy. Exercise is not only more fun but a buddy holds you accountable. You are more likely to stick to your exercise routine if there is another person counting on you. Neighbors make great walking buddies!

These are easy ways to add steps into your daily life. Exercise not only helps us live longer but it increases our quality of life, reduces cardiovascular disease, diabetes and several cancers. Not to mention the mental and emotional benefits it brings. So grab a pair of walking shoes and head out the door!

The studies I mention in this article can be found here, JAMA and Mayo Clinic

Could Testosterone Ward Off Disease?

 There is an article in this month's Scientific American title "Women At Risk". You need a subscription to read but here is a Free article which includes much of what is in the paid one.

It is common knowledge women account for 80% of autoimmune diseases in this country. Let us be grateful there are many more female medical researchers now who actually CARE about this topic. Multiple studies show Testosterone plays a large role in suppressing autoimmune diseases. Men with low T develop these diseases at a higher rate than men with higher T.  It seems Testosterone regulates gut microbes, which influence autoimmunity in the body, but the mechanics as to why are not understood.

It is believed hormonal changes play a large role in autoimmune disease, specifically estrogen levels. However, since women have lower Testosterone than men, lab researchers have been studying the effects of added T to see if it suppresses or protects female mice from these diseases. It does. But it's not just rats who are trying this out. Desperate patients are now seeing dramatic results from bio identical Testosterone in controlling their disease. I am not a doctor but as a woman I believe women deserve to have the power of knowledge to make decisions about their own health. Testosterone therapy in women is NOT new, despite what the American patriarchal medical society might tell you. It has been administered in Europe for Decades! As a side note, European doctors noticed a protective effect in breast cancer for post menopausal women on Testosterone.

Although not much is understood about autoimmune diseases, here are a few things you can do to lower your chances. Stress plays a role as well as smoking and obesity, so those are within our control. Every year, women should have their thyroid checked. This is paramount and many PCP's fail at this. So ask to have your thyroid levels checked and learn to check your own for nodules. Wish I had known this before being diagnosed last year with a thyroid nodule that is 2cm in diameter. My doctor failed me, don't let yours do the same.

The disparities in funding and research on women's health issues is a problem. Until that is corrected, we as women need to be our own best advocates. The internet is a great source of information, just be sure to check sources first. Do not limit yourself to American research. Europe is ahead of us when it comes to medical research in general.

Arthritis and Food: The Missing Link

 That bone you fractured as a teenager healed well but decades later you may notice some inflammation and stiffness there. Those achy knee joints, tendinitis and stiffness in the mornings are probable signs of arthritis but did you know the foods we eat can help or hinder it? 

I can personally attest to the amazing benefits of Fish Oil on my own body. A few weeks after stopping my daily Complete Omega supplement, my knees and elbow joints began aching. Noticeably. Every day. When I restarted it, all of it disappeared. It is a well studied fact that fish oil, especially Omega 3 fatty acids, reduces inflammation in the body reducing pain and joint stiffness. Vitamin D3 has also shown to reduce the effects of arthritis. Did you know Vitamin D is considered a hormone?

A daily supplement is a great idea if approved by your doctor. Some medical conditions contraindicate it so please check with a medical professional first.

Fatty fish, Olive oil, Walnuts, Cruciferous Vegetables, Tart Cherry Juice, Ginger and Berries, among others, all help lower inflammation in the body. Studies are finding a strong correlation between chronic inflammation and many diseases, including cancer.

Foods to avoid and known to increase inflammation? 

Limit these foods: Red and processed Meat, Oils high in Omega 6 such as corn, sunflower, soy. Sugar and refined simple carbs, Fried foods, alcohol. I would add to this list any foods you are personally either allergic to or intolerant to.

An easy way to adhere to an arthritis friendly diet is the Mediterranean Diet. 

BTW, my 9 year old Australian Shepherd takes a daily Complete Omega pill! They are expensive but recommended by my vet. So...after a couple of years of having her on these I thought, why am I not taking them too? Aren't I worth it? My dog lives better than I do LOL

I recently had a Personal Training client mention he was stiff and sore from working out so I had him add Fish Oil to his daily diet. He told me within a couple of weeks he could feel the difference! Much better than taking NSAIDS or prescription anti-inflammatory pills right?

                                                                                            

New Study Expands on Link Between Caffeine & Exercise Benefits

First off, only add caffeine to your routine if your health allows it. I began drinking 2 cups of Joe on the mornings I perform cardio exercise. I usually drink green tea but caffeine increases your metabolism allowing the body to burn more calories during and after exercise. This study expands on that and shows afternoon exercise actually conferred MORE benefits than morning workouts. That said, I cannot tolerate caffeine in the afternoon as it interrupts my sleep. And sleep is paramount for recovery, physical and mental.

I did notice I burn more calories, thanks to my handy Fitbit, when I added coffee on those days. It's something to consider doing if you can.

Here is Link to Study:

Caffeine & Exercise Burn More Calories 

2021 Health Goals Off the Rails? Hit Reset

 

Gyms are starting to reopen around the country but did you know that at least 70% of weight loss comes from a healthy diet NOT exercise? That's right, exercise is awesome for heart and lung conditioning and sure it burns calories but you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet.

As a certified Personal Trainer and Nutritionist thru ISSA, I am sharing 5 easy tips to help you reset your 2021 Health goals.

1. Write down your health goals(yes, with a pen). Be specific. For example, I want to lose 20 lbs is not specific. What steps are you going to take to get there? Time frame? Be realistic. It takes a deficit of 500 calories a day to lose one pound a week. 

2. Keep a food journal ( I saw the eye roll). There are free apps like My Fitness Pal that make this super easy to do. MFP will even help you set a weight goal and will log your exercise calories in for you. You can set your macro nutrient percentages of protein, carbohydrates and fat in here as well. A food journal keeps you accountable. We underestimate how many calories we eat. Log every single thing you eat and caloric drinks. 

3. Find out what your BMI (Body Mass Index) and what your RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate) are. There are plenty of free online calculators to help you with this. Your goal is to get your BMI to a healthy level and your RMR tells you how many calories your body burns daily just to stay alive! If you can, find out what your body fat and lean mass percentages are so you can see your progress as you lose weight.

4. Plan an exercise program if you don't already have one. Most gyms have personal trainers that will give you a monthly exercise routine or you can hire me to make one for you. You will want a mix of resistance/strength training, aerobic activity, stretching and balance exercises. In your aerobic/cardio exercise consider adding one HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). It's only 20 minutes long and an important component to fitness. Consider investing in a fitness smart watch like Fitbit or a cellphone health app to help you keep track of your exercise and calories burned.

5. Last but not least, Be Kind to Yourself!! There will be setbacks, focus on the long term. Every action, every step you take towards your goals no matter how small, COUNT. Use positive reinforcement, speak kindly to yourself and surround yourself with a tribe that will help you with your journey.

You are making a lifelong change, after all.  If you don't take care of your body, where are you going to live?

Finding Gratitude and Thankfulness can be challenging this year, but there is always something or someone to be grateful for. The following Meditation by Sally Kempton is a beautiful exercise for the season. Peace and Light!

Thanksgiving Meditation 

Self Reflection vs. Ego, who wins?

Lately, an uncomfortable personal issue I took as resolved, crept back to the forefront of my mind like a rising tide of pond scum. What gives, I thought? I banished this tasteless, bitter part of my life to the frozen planet of an outer galaxy with no return ticket. Or did I?
When a certain thought or issue hijacks your mind and won't release you, it is difficult to get down to the gooey, warm center of why. Yet it is imperative for your sanity to find the true reason your mind won't stop obsessing over it. Could it be because it may cause us  to self-reflect on an aspect of ourselves we'd rather ignore than deal with? And how do we know when we've bored down to the raw core and not some convenient conclusion our ego is selling us? The answer may seem to be, if it makes you uncomfortable like sand in your underpants, wriggle in your seat, question your motives, then it is "probably" the truth you are seeking. You may truly believe, even with meditative introspection, something to be true but that does not always make it so. The ego is mighty powerful, a type of Wizard of Oz if you will, that will manipulate, fabricate and exaggerate to stay alive and in charge. It may feel it is protecting you by concealing the unvarnished truth from you. When you do pull back the heavy, blackout curtain, your ego is just human, sometimes desperate, not always intelligent and definitely self-serving.
The challenge is how to dig down to the true reason something is nagging at you. Try a new meditation method or one that never worked for you before. I happened upon a double gong meditation that reset my restless mind button, enabling me to confront my problem in a fresh way. I also dusted off my boxing gloves and punched a bag for half an hour, beating to a pulp the underlying current of anger I apparently still harbored. I'm currently drilling my way down to the raw core, but this time when I get down to the truth (or what I hope IS the truth) I'm detonating this problem to a trillion pieces into the atmosphere. No chance of a return trip back.

My New Mantra

"The truth is, everything will be OK as soon as you are OK with everything. And that's the ONLY time everything will be OK" by Michael Singer "The Untethered Soul".  Live in the now, don't wish your life away by dreaming of a future that may never happen.

My New Year Lost It's Shine

It's only the 7th of January and I feel weary, as if my brand new Christmas clothes were worn and threadbare. Mind you, I'm not a big fan of the Roman calendar new year, it's just a tidy date chosen to keep everyone in line. I'm a Chinese new year person, when the ever changing new moon decides when we begin the shiny, bright new year. Yet, subconsciously I still fall aslumber on December 31st with hopeful sugar plums in my head, expecting to wake up the next day in Pleasantville. All will be better this year just because the New Year fairy waived her wand and spread her magical dust. Which could be true if the dust contained LSD.
Why did I lose the fleeting hope so quickly? Don't I know that only I can enact positive change in my life? When did I become so jaded? Shouldn't I be grateful for each day and have that be enough?
Admittingly, we were steamrolled into a deep, dark crevice by the real estate meltdown. Clawing our way back to mediocrity is no enviable task, and it gets wearisome at times. Many of us are work weary, burned out from too many working weekends, afraid to take vacations lest our clients go elsewhere and searching for our power sticks.
Rekindling my sparkle feels like trudging through a knee high mud bog on a blazingly hot desert summer day, but I slog on. Hope melts into my dimmed soul as I lazily soak in the warm winter Arizona sun during my first day off in three weeks. The sobering news of a friends' new battle against cancer whiplashes me back into everyday gratitude. Restarting my daily meditation practice fires up my brain's limbic system, sparking positive thinking.
In yoga, tapas (no, not the delectable spanish appetizers) is one of our ethical observances. It translates into fiery discipline, commitment to spiritual learning, heating up our practice. Burning off the dullness to reveal a shiny, improved self.  There's my New Year''s inspiration after all!

My New Mantra

Before you speak ask yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Even if it's two out of three, keep your lips sealed. You will be grateful you did.

Beet Juice NOT Beetlejuice

Beets...not one of my favorite vegetables, although I watched TV chef Alton Brown roast baby beets with lots of garlic and olive oil. That looked yummy. The B in beets is for B vitamins, lots of folate in this crimson root, as well as a good source of A, C, calcium and iron. If you can purchase inflammation fighting beets still attached to the leaves, juice the leaves, too. They are even more nutritious than the beet. Look for green, healthy leaves and juice right away. Beets with rounded bottoms are sweeter than flat-bottomed ones and smaller ones are as well. One medium to large detoxifying beet is enough and always include other veggies when juicing this garnet gem.  Carrots or apples counteract the bitterness, and lemon juice is always a great addition. There's a reason beets were used to dye clothes centuries ago, drink it through a straw to avoid staining those pearly whites. Expect "other" red surprises as your body processes this vitamin packed juice.
My recipe for constipating-fighting beets:
1 medium to large beet, peeled and cut in half. 2 lbs scrubbed carrots. 1 head of celery, ends trimmed and scrubbed. 1 lemon, peeled, cut in half. Divide all veggies into 2 piles (cut them to fit in Breville feeder if needed). Add an apple if desired. Juice all of them on high. Should yield about 64 oz. Finish all juice by day 4 or freeze.

Marie's 10 Rules To Live By

1. Choose people who exude empathy, compassion AND kindness. Two out of three is not enough.
2. Live by the Golden Rule. Every day. Even when it sucks. To be good.
3. Question authority. Maybe not straight to a cop's face. Handcuffs are uncomfortable, take my word for it.
4. Jump in a fountain. At least one. Especially in the summer. In Italy.
5. Spend time with a child.
6. Right speech, Right action.
7. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you remember something to laugh about.
8. Meditate 5 minutes a day. In your car, closet, at your desk, in the forest, by the ocean. Just DO IT.
9. Do something for someone else without expectation. I teach yoga and meditation, it's my seva (service).
10. Material possessions tie us down and create suffering. Promise yourself that when they do, you will get rid of them. This applies to people too!

To clarify #3: I'm not advocating revolution or anarchy, just mindfulness over mindlessness. So you can put your muskets down, no need to run for the hills...yet.

Who Is Driving Your Soul Car?

As we careen around the whip lashing turns through the inky black mountain pass, my eyes dart to the ever changing moving pictures afforded by the Xenon lights guiding our moonless drive. My driver is a professional, smoothly changing gears and anticipating each switchback like someone who's driven these seemingly Godless roads before. Which of course, he has. I press my body further into the buttery soft Italian caramel leather seat and loosen my grip on the door handle. The speediest and sexiest way to my destination is in an obscenely expensive Italian sports car. My adrenaline races through my veins and the perspiration trickles down my neck. The purring from the engine growls louder as our speed approaches 150 mph and I catch a swooshing glimpse at the road sign - Happiness 10 miles. I exhale a sigh of relief, almost there I assure myself. Gazing over at the stone silent driver, he stares back with his soulless eyes and jerks the steering wheel, causing the car to crash through the guard rail and catapult us off the path towards certain death.
My driver was one of seven available. Their names are sloth, lust, anger, pride, greed, envy and gluttony. Choose any of them and you will get your thrill, but they always cause suffering in the end. There is no quick, easy road to Happiness and you should never turn your soul keys over to anyone, except maybe the Divine. The route is full of detours, potholes, road construction and inclement weather, but at least you are in the driver's seat of that Fiat!

What Moors You To This Life?

Yoga philosophy espouses high virtue on becoming detached from that which may cause suffering, not an easy accomplishment in our Western culture. Yet I've attempted to be a good student, reminding myself oh so ever gently, that material possessions are chains that drag us down into the pit of despair (without the 6-fingered man). Vairagya (renunciation) is also one of the ethical precepts yogis are meant to follow. We are supposed to be grateful for each day that we are given on this blue planet yet not be terrified of death. To accept when our time is up and become one with God.
It is this last part I may have taken too far. Who knew that not caring if you live or die might actually be dangerous?? When our 15 year old 4-legged child died last January, Brian and I were beyond devastated. We adjusted eventually...to the deafening silence at home (doggies do like to be heard), the missing soul, and most notably, not needing to care for that living creature any longer. As I plainly told Brian "we are no longer a family, just a couple." NOT being a family was sinkingly depressing for me. I am nurturing and loving by nature, unless you piss me off, and not having Shea to care for, worry and fret about turned out to be more detrimental to my emotional and physical health than I ever envisioned.
The sands of time slowly sifted down, and the changes within me became more visible. I was no longer concerned about being alive, didn't care if my life ended that day or not, felt completely untethered to this world in a way I never experienced prior. Mildly amused by this new sense of freedom from breathing, I thought I was progressing towards a state of enlightenment. How cool I mused, I think I understand this whole non-attachment and clinging to life deal! I felt like a Squarebob Spongepants helium balloon that slipped away from a tiny little hand at the state fair, floating aimlessly higher and higher into infinity. Giggling like a little schoolgirl, either from lack of oxygen or that new found sense of weightlessness, I failed to notice my precarious ascent. That is, until the close call with a Boeing 747.
My featherlight brushstroke with death perked my senses, yet did not sound a warning bell. Not until others expressed serious concern about my laissez faire attitude towards living. Delving deeper into the inky blackness of my ignorance, I blindly grasped onto the anchor of faith. I forced myself to root down and ground my feet firmly into the here and now. As a practicing yogi and teacher, I focused on foundation and centering from within, until I believed it.
"Take the hit as a gift" a teacher once said. I did. My soaring experience taught me that my reason for being is supposed to be selfless, providing seva (service) to others whether through my teaching or caring for those I love (including our new puppy, even when she is willful and contrary). Namaste.

Life Is a Sweet Tart

Most medicine is bitter, but it heals. Whatever, it either tastes like past due motor oil, or gets stuck halfway down my throat, and as I'm gasping for air I wonder if I'll just choke to death on this gargantuan pill instead. Either way, problem solved. Which leads into my favorite word of the month - BITTERSWEET. Life is kinda like a box of chocolates, sometimes there's a sweet caramel filling coated in sinful chocolate, and sometimes, well, sometimes it's just a wad of smokeless tobacco dipped in chocolate. Disgusting when you bite into it, projectile-inducing and not even the silkiest, decadent Swiss confectioner's chocolate coating can save your taste buds from scraping a Brillo pad down your tongue.  And yet, it is the bitter tasting portions of my life that allow me to savor the sweet truffle that follows even more.
The acidic grief that rained on me last year seared a deeper well of inner strength. Dark energies don't rattle my cage anymore. My force field locks down and not even Darth Vader can unnerve me. My soul is still sugar-brimmed with the nectar of compassion and kindness, they just don't get to shove a crazy straw down and suck me dry. The biting experiences we go through are there to teach us something. Otherwise, all they do is leave a bad aftertaste.
When the bitter, sour, acrid, pungent moments in life come your way know that it too shall pass and when the dessert tray of good times rolls up, indulge and enjoy.
And as far as the box of chocolates and never knowing what you're gonna get, grab a sharp paring knife and follow my lead - unmercifully dissect that bonbon down the middle and check out it's guts. No white nougat center surprise for me!!

Rosemary and Thyme Make Great Friends

A long-time friend of mine recently confided a shattering confession. As she sat crumpled in despair on my loveseat, I asked why she hadn't called on me sooner for help. She shook her head and with trembling lips muttered "you were going through your own hell, I couldn't burden you with mine." It was right after I'd lost my dog and grief truly consumed me like a malarian fever. When I pressed on as to why she had not reached out to others, she admitted a lack of trust in some and not wanting to burden the rest with her self-induced troubles. A burden?! Isn't that what friends are for? To grab them by the collar, wildly look into their bewildered eyeballs and scream "Well, are you going to help me or WHAT?"
As my ever loving friends will laughingly confirm, I've got no problem SOS'ing them when I'm teetering at the edge of a dark precipice. I know better. I'm fully aware of my incompetence at talking myself rationally away from the ledge. The competing logical and emotional voices in my head are too busy arguing their opposing viewpoints and I've muted both of them to teach them a lesson. So, as I stand paralyzed with fear and mesmerized by the siren call of the cavernous unknown, I frantically dial my cellphone. And for extra fun, I'm uncooperative or combative with whichever poor soul was unlucky enough to answer, but they love me anyway, right??
Cultivating and maintaining friendships require an open heart, patience and perseverance. My friend matter of factly stated she's too old to make new friends (she's in her 40's). Which is utter nonsense, of course. Some of the richest, deepest friendships I've developed were in the last few years. But you do have to put yourself out there, reach out to new people and make the effort to connect. Just as a vegetable garden needs watering, tending and feeding, so do our human connections. Life would be one tasteless, dull British stew if it weren't for the rich, flavorful, bitter, sweet, sour and salty friends who spice it up.
To the five of you who read my nonsense, I'm posing this question: If you were a spice, what would you be? I'm definitely salt, for all the right and wrong reasons.

Jazz Up Your Jicama Juice

For a change of pace in your normal juicing rootine (get it?), try adding jicama. This water-packed root vegetable delivers a colorless, light, mildly sweet taste. Plus, it's chock full of virus-fighting Vitamin C and potassium. How to choose the right jicama? Look for no cracks or dings and smooth skin. Peeling the rough skin is a bit tricky, stay away from vegetable peeler. Try a good paring knife instead. If jicama is gigantic, cut in half first and then peel. You may be able to grab a skin end with your knife and peel off like an orange.
For this recipe, assemble 1 large or 2 smaller peeled jicama for 2 to 2 1/2 lbs. total weight, cut in quarters to fit in feeder. 4 to 6 large, sweet carrots, ends trimmed and scrubbed. 4 cucumbers, ends trimmed and well scrubbed. 1 peeled lemon cut in half. 1 large, delectable apple cut in half. Divide all produce equally into two piles and turn on juicer. Juice each pile as one batch. Lemon and cucumbers juice on low, all the rest on high. Each produce bunch should yield about 32 oz.
Remember, you can always freeze raw juice for later. Freezing changes the texture a bit, but not the nutrition!

For The Love Of Dogs

In Memory Of Shea, my blue-eyed baby boy, my "Snoopy", my hiking buddy, my loving companion. I will miss you eternally.
I received a second punch on my invisible punch card. There are no reward points or "Free" car washes when I fill it. In fact, I hope I NEVER fill it. Once you are a member of this exclusive club, there is no "opting-out". Like The Eagles song goes "once you check-in, you can never check-out". There are no secret meetings held in dark, waxy cold basements, no fees, no cards issued. Every group member desperately wishes they could bargain their way out, to no avail. No invitation to join, we are all unwillingly initiated, and it is painful. Searingly agonizing. As if a Solingen steel, serrated edge sharp folding knife were plunged into your soul and surgically carved out a slice of it.
The paradoxical question being - why would anyone want to experience such paralyzing, suffocating pain ever again? One punch hole in your heart should be lesson enough. Lesson being to never, ever, ever go through this living hell again. Yet the answer to the question is - for the love of a four-legged creature. In my case, for the love of a dog.
Our personal experience with the death of our pets has not been a storybook ending. Neither one died in his sleep or had to be put down for terminal illness. Disneyesque bluebirds whistling simple tunes didn't hover around and cover them with caramel-hued blankets when they passed. Both times the grotesque decision of euthanasia was vague and wrenchingly painful. Nobody tells you this part of owning a pet. Nobody warns you of the end. Nobody shares their intimate, raw emotions of the experience. Probably because we all want to blot out the stain of guilt, shame, anger, desperation and bottomless grief as quickly as possible. But I AM going to impart our emotional journey to the hell of euthanasia so that others may be better prepared than we. Here goes:
Your vet will not tell you when it's time unless it is an emergency situation. Both our dogs could not walk or get up on their own much, but no vet ever TOLD us it was time, we had to ask.
The day you put your dog down, you will feel like shit. You spend the rest of that day wanting to TAKE IT BACK. Nothing will make you feel better, no matter how numb you want to become. So I stayed sober, the kind of sober only death can bring. The soberest I've been since February 10th, 2011 (when Annie died).
You walk out of the vet's office in a zombie-like haze. I don't even know how we got home. I just know I walked in with a dog and left with an empty leash and collar white-knuckled to my left hand.
You have the choice of staying and holding your dog till he's dead, or leaving him there...alone...with strangers. Both times we stayed and assured our old boys that killing them was the most loving action we could do for them. Yeah, right. You will never believe that one either. For as long as you live. Be prepared for the guilt of killing your pet, nobody tells you this part.

Our way of coping with the rest of that good-for-nothing day was to come home and clean his bowls, crate and toys. We separated what we could donate to a rescue group, including all his meds, and placed the rest in the attic with the dim outlook that someday we may have another doggie in our lives. We even cleaned the house, not to wipe out Shea's memory but to give us closure. I recommend you take the day off as your brain won't be thinking coherently.
The memory of your pet dying in your arms after a lethal injection of the most vibrant lavender pink poison, will be hot-branded in your conscious memory forever. You will not be equipped to handle this, it will haunt you. Know that choosing to stay and do the right thing, will also cause you extreme remorse and sorrow. Euthanasia is final, there is no going back. This seems like an obvious point, but my husband seemed stunned when it happened. Taking your pet's life strips away the protective layers of your emotional soul. It is now a raw, large open wound that will take months to heal and form a scab. And that slice that was cut out, will never return. You also discover what you are capable of and what your limits are.

Someday, you will have to forgive yourself for what you've done. When, I don't know. Forgiving and forgetting are two distinct paths. I still haven't forgotten the last one back in 1996, but I eventually realized his death was inevitable. The only way to fully receive forgiveness, is to fully forget that day. Which would require amnesia or a partial lobotomy. Making peace with ourselves and accepting our actions is a step towards forgiveness. Keep focusing on the joyful times you enjoyed together whenever that dark euthanasia moment skulks into your mind. Find a way to aid other pets, whether it's volunteering or donating money to your local rescue group . They are amazing organizations. And that vast ability you possess to love and care for another, needs to be shared again. Consider adopting another pet in the future, for the love of dogs.

It's A Fine Line Between Mercy Killing And Murder

Deciding the fate of another being's life is not a deed to be undertaken recklessly or in haste. Which is why my partner in crime, my hubby Brian, and I are taking a day by day approach on choosing a date to kill our 15 year old blue-eyed beautiful child. Mind you, it's perfectly legal here to engage in a murder for hire. Brian and I will issue the order and charge it on our Visa card, but someone else will inject the poison, declare him dead and hand us his ashes in a black plastic box. All included in the price. Clinically clean and tidy. Except for one problem: we love the little bugger with our entire souls.
Shea is the unsuspecting future victim of this horrific crime. His Sea of Cortez brilliant blue eyes sparkle with love and devotion. He devours his meals with such gusto, a gourmet cook couldn't be prouder. His absolute loyalty and devotion to us make us feel like pond scum. Gratefully Shea is mostly deaf so he can't hear when we openly discuss where to spread his ashes in the definite future. Although paradoxically, he livens up and begins to limp around us, as if saying " I'm fine, I'm feeling better now". Brian and I darkly joke that as long as we keep mentioning his funeral, maybe Shea will stubbornly stick around. After all, he is bossy, this alpha male Australian Shepherd of ours. Yes, of course he's a dog, who do you think he was???
I regretfully came to the brutal realization that I can't "fix" old age. Shea's arthritis, a condition worsened by his grand old Frisbee days, is destroying his quality of life. I didn't surmise that by keeping him healthy all his life, his body would give out before his heart. As much as we his parents desperately pray that he will die in his sleep, his robustly beating heart won't fail him, just us. It seems life is not without irony.
So every day, we wait. Wait for a sign. An undeniable signal that will justify euthanizing him. The cruelty of arthritis destroying his knees and hips is frustrating. How is this not a controllable disease?? Is this the fate that awaits the rest of us who've exercised and eaten right all our lives? The answer is yes, it is. Our bodies will betray us in the end, ungrateful bastards. Except we will wither away in an antiseptic hospital bed, drugged up to the point of being comatose, and dying of starvation, a painful death to be sure. Nobody to put us out of our misery, no mercy killing for us. Some argue euthanasia is murder, Dr. Kevorkian went to prison for such an act. Yet, if you've ever seen someone terminally ill, the swiftness of the angel of death is welcomed.
I know Shea's death will be an act of mercy when the time finally arrives. My bouncing Tigger not able to walk on his own four legs will be the sign we need. Until then, my hope remains unabated as I continue to stuff my huggingly soft, furry one with anti-inflammatories, glucosamine, Cetyl M, omega 3's, ginger, massage and showers of kisses.