Rabbit Is Wise, Rabbit Is Good

Gung hay fat choy! 2023 is the year of the Rabbit, a fortuitous sign. Forecasters predict this year will be much better financially, although global markets will still be fragile. The Rabbit is lucky but also cautious, so be conservative with your $$ this year. Last night was New Year's Eve and as I glanced up at the frigid night sky a pale green meteor plunged straight down towards the earth and disappeared mid-sky. Nature's fireworks!
I will celebrate  by wokking chicken w/baby broccoli, shiitake mushrooms and red bell pepper. Start with some miso soup and egg rolls, and finish the evening with a Chinese film. With subtitles, which drives my BAE crazy lol.
This is my theory about why this new year is more valid than the Gregorian (read western) January 1st version. The Chinese New Year is based on a lunar calendar, it changes yearly and is aligned with the universe. My emotional hangover on January 1st was realizing nothing magically would change from the night before. Our calendar was created by the Catholic Church to make time neat, concise and uniform. But life isn't like that. Life is messy, fluid and chaotic. Learning to live more within the natural rhythm of the universe will bring us more harmony, not only within ourselves but with those around us. The chinese call this harmonious energy "chi" and is all around us. Balancing our own chi through mind-body practices, such as yoga, meditation, qigong, tai chi, reiki, acupuncture, acupressure, even massage changes us both physically and spiritually. Start the Year of the Rabbit by incorporating at least one of these practices several times per week for the next six weeks and note the transformation that follows. This may be a lucky year indeed!

Finding Calm Within the Chaos

 

I teach a weekly meditation class for the last several years. I love my students who faithfully show up even when they may not be feeling well. Showed up when we were still in a pandemic and were forced to meet outdoors in all kinds of weather while wearing a mask. But I believe our sanga (community) supported us through some of the most difficult times in our history. They helped me as much as we all helped each other. 

We were all grateful when the world started to open up again. Grateful to be able to leave the house and travel. Grateful to see family and friends we had not hugged in years. So how is it, with all this gratitude going around the collective world, there is so much dissonance, war and hate dominating the world right now?

I figured I couldn't be the only one feeling angst, anxiety and stress over the distressing events occurring around us. Even as an experienced meditator, I felt all of the above feelings. Last straw was waking up Tuesday morning to jaw and mandibular pain. Enough was enough. I needed to take my emotional health into a higher gear and share my healing practice with my students.

I am sharing this Tuesdays class with you. I hope it helps anchor and center you amongst the chaos surrounding us these days.

Emotional flexibility is a trait that people with strong mental resilience possess. It is the ability to hold many different emotions at once and not allow the negative ones to poison the well. It is a skill that is not easy to master but the key is to remain present with whatever emotion bubbles to the surface. The following meditation allows me to come back from the murkiness of the negative emotions vying for my attention during chaotic times.

Find a quiet space and sit. Close your eyes or lower your gaze and focus on the rhythm of your breath. Try to breathe in and out of the nose if possible. Begin to scan the body for any areas that feel tense and send the breath there to release it. Now, begin diaphragmatic breathing. This is where we engage the entire diaphragm and divide it in thirds. The upper section is the lungs, middle section is the solar plexus above the navel, lower section is below the navel. As you inhale lightly fill each section, not forcefully but mindfully. On the exhale, expel the breath the same way. Think of it as a wave of breath. Do this for 5 minutes. If you get dizzy, just return to a normal breathing pattern and ditch the diaphragmatic breathing.

Your mind should have less thought traffic moving through it and you are ready for the next part of this meditation.

Return to normal breathing and drop your attention like a plumb line down towards the middle of your chest, into your heart space and allow it to rest there until you feel the heart expand and relax. Stay present and stay with the breath and focus on the heart space. If the heart space feels blocked, visualize a small opening with a beam of light shining through it dispersing the blockage until the heart space releases.

From this place of resting in the heart, get in touch with the emotions you are feeling. Anger, lack of control, anxiety all come from Fear. All emotions are energy so let go of the "reason" for the negative emotion and focus on the sensation within the feeling. Next, move your focus to a subtle energy in the background, the awareness from where the feeling arises and subsides. Allow the feeling or emotion to  just float there, without trying to control it in any way. Eventually notice how the feeling of anxiety, anger or lack of control slowly dissolves into the subtle energy of awareness and is transmuted by the love, kindness and compassion that is also being held in that container of the heart. Allow those feelings to alchemize the negative ones and either dissolve or dissipate them. 

This works well in a controlled setting but what about those times you are either at work or in your car and the negative emotions overwhelm you? Try this hack for a quick switch.

When you find the anger, anxiety or fear begin to overtake your mind, think of a quick counter thought to it. Find a phrase or a word that resonates with you, as an example " I will keep my heart open and act from Love". If that's too Pollyannaish for you, come up with a wittier one. Sometimes when I vehemently disagree with someone, I remind myself to find common ground, even if it is in my mind. We all want what is best for our children and loved ones, we all want better communities, we all want to get home safe. When I can remember that as I look into someone's eyes it helps to dissipate the anger bubbling up inside. And if all else fails, take 10 deep breaths before speaking. Or walk away.

In my past posts I speak of the physical and emotional damage stress causes us. We cannot control what is going on in the world but we CAN control how we react to it and how we allow it to affect us. 

Do not allow it to poison the well of your heart.

We Have All Had a Will Smith "Moment"

 It is impossible to ignore the "slap heard around the world", it's on every news outlet. I am not going to express my opinion or hash over what is trending online. My takeaway from this is more spiritually based.

Be honest, we've all done or said something we regretted after. Where we could have handled it differently. We were triggered by a comment, an event and it set our protective ego off. Our lower self took over and reacted. Are there times when that is warranted? Absofuckinglutely! Spellcheck didn't recognize that one 😂

We are imperfect human beings to be sure. Yet Tantra yoga teaches us to accept and love ourselves with all our blemishes, imperfections and faults. Even embrace them. After all, an imperfect diamond still shines and sparkles. Shining the light of self awareness on those imperfections allows us to sift through the qualities in ourselves that damage from the ones that make us the unique, amazing souls that we are. After all, no diamond is exactly alike. Being quirky, thinking outside the box, even a bit odd adds technicolor to our human experience.

When we find ourselves triggered, that is our cue to take a time out. Take a deep breath, maybe ten, and then choose our next step wisely. And perhaps recall the 3 Gates of Speech from the Buddha, which states:

Before you Speak, Ask Yourself:

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

There is a Fourth Gate if the other three are a Yes.

Is it the Appropriate Time to Say It?

How do we shine the light of self awareness into those dark recesses of our mind and coax them out Before they set us off? The act of meditating, sitting still with ourselves hones the practice of self-awareness. Self awareness activates that filter between thought and action so we no longer react to something unconsciously. We are able to view ourselves through the lens of an observer, taking the whole picture in like the lens of a camera, without judgement or bias. This all, of course, happens very quickly but that is where a regular meditation practice comes to bear fruit.

Have there been times that even after Knowing my subsequent action was reactionary, and perhaps even inappropriate, I forged ahead anyway? Absofuckinglutely LOL  But I was fully aware of my actions and the wrath or reaction it would create. I don't think Chris Rock or Will Smith thought that last part out.

Remember, Ego is trying to protect you or give you a self esteem boost. It doesn't care who else it may harm while taking care of you. Ego can be self-centered and short sighted. And when in doubt, always act from Love NOT Fear.

Love is the Answer

 Knowing This (Fill In the Blank), How Do I Love the World? In todays' environment that Blank could be filled a thousand times but I want you to fill it with what hurts your soul. We become almost numb by all the bad news and then something comes along that slaps us in the face and stops us in our tracks. For me, it was the murder of a friend's stepdaughter by her estranged husband. Having never met her, I broke down sobbing, heaving and a pain clutching my chest. 

"Why is there so much hate in the world"? It was too much to bear. For an empath, these are tricky,  perilous waters we navigate. How do we keep our hearts open, filled with light and love when faced with atrocity?

At our most basic, every action we take, every thought we have is rooted in either Fear or Love. To quote from the must read book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, this is what Fear and Love look like:

Fear is the energy that contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. 

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, Love allows us to stand naked.

Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, Love gives all that we have away.

Fear holds close, Love holds dear.

Fear grasps, Love lets go.

Fear rankles, Love soothes.

Fear attacks, Love amends.

Beautiful isn't it? Being self aware enough to know where our thoughts and actions come from, enables us to choose differently. Gives us the capacity to change our trajectory, course of action. Meditation is the birthing place of self awareness, where we shift our view of the world from "I" the ego to the selfless, to the all encompassing "oneness". Where we remember we are all tethered by an unbreakable thread of connection. Does this awareness make atrocities any easier to witness or face? It does not. What it does do is remind us to focus on the light not the darkness. To have faith that there is more good than bad, simply put.  That instead of wanting to close down, shield up from pain, hang a NO Vacancy sign on our hearts, we honor the victims by keeping up the good fight, by helping others in turn, by offering support to those who are suffering. We recognize the darkness and shine our light on it to force it out of hiding. 

Because that is what LOVE does.

Marie's 10 Rules To Live By

1. Choose people who exude empathy, compassion AND kindness. Two out of three is not enough.
2. Live by the Golden Rule. Every day. Even when it sucks. To be good.
3. Question authority. Maybe not straight to a cop's face. Handcuffs are uncomfortable, take my word for it.
4. Jump in a fountain. At least one. Especially in the summer. In Italy.
5. Spend time with a child.
6. Right speech, Right action.
7. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you remember something to laugh about.
8. Meditate 5 minutes a day. In your car, closet, at your desk, in the forest, by the ocean. Just DO IT.
9. Do something for someone else without expectation. I teach yoga and meditation, it's my seva (service).
10. Material possessions tie us down and create suffering. Promise yourself that when they do, you will get rid of them. This applies to people too!

To clarify #3: I'm not advocating revolution or anarchy, just mindfulness over mindlessness. So you can put your muskets down, no need to run for the hills...yet.

Patience Is An Elusive Virtue

Over the years, I've honed the important skill of patience. Painstakingly cultivated through meditation. It's never been my strong suit, yet I am now able to suspend the mind and patiently wait for whatever I'm needing to present itself. Allowing the mind to ebb and flow in a horizontal plane, not attaching judgement or thought, just giving patience the space and time it requires to play it all out. In a perfect world, that is. The Universe can be wicked, devious and mischievous. As she was last week. I was minding my own business when she side kicked and upended my emotional apple cart, spilling Granny Smith's onto the dirt path. I frantically chased them, desperate as they quickened their escape by rolling downhill. Except the Granny Smith's aren't apples at all. They are grace, gratitude, gratefulness, empathy, courage, patience...you get the picture. Freshly plucked at their ripest, lovingly nurtured by me, specifically picked to feed me through a family crisis. I watched helplessly as hungry Munchinklanders, a tin woodsman, a lion, a straw man and an odd-looking farm girl snatched up my fruit, smarting at their luck. I reproachfully glanced over at the wooden cart and caught sight of a few apples resting on the corner edge. My hopes quickly dashed as I reached in to grab one and noted only bruised, wormholed, rotten emotional apples left - rudeness, ego, selfishness, indifference, fear and  impatience. No way I'm burdening myself with those, so I twirled on my heels and hiked up the hill to hand pick more fruit from the tree of life. This time I promise to be more selective.
Life throws obstacles (or tornadoes in Dorothy's case) onto our carefully laid brick path to help us find our character and our flaws. As we stumble, our friends pick us up, oil can in hand and help us along the way. When I see the wizard of Oz, I am asking for patience. What will you ask for?
 P.S. - I am deeply grateful to my friends and family for their support last week, thank you.

Is Your Soul For Sale?

Most of us would not follow Faust and sell our soul to the devil, but there are less obvious ways we may hock parts of our soul to satisfy some of the seven deadly sins. Can you name them all? I always forget one or two, but they are greed, sloth, envy, gluttony, pride, anger & lust. Of all, pride is regarded as the most damaging sin. Lack of ego eradicates them all. Sloth is a bit trickier as it relates to laziness and allowing our talents to go to waste. Perhaps selfishness causes sloth? Not wanting to share our talents with the world or donate our time selflessly to others since it would require work? When we sacrifice bits of our integrity and self-worth for money (who hasn't?) we need to be observant and aware. Missing your child's play or soccer game due to work obligations is sometimes necessary. Skipping out on a social event because you are wiped out from a frenetic work week is perfectly fine. Biting your tongue with clients who disrespect your time and worth is NOT ok in the long run. Hating your job is NOT ok. Allowing others to take advantage of your good nature is NOT ok. Eventually, these actions eat away at our soul like acid and pierce the armour of our divinity. A good friend of mine just started a new job she absolutely loves. Her prior job was fulfilling & paid well, yet office politics were draining her. The last straw broke when her company sold out to a conglomerate and her boss threw her under the bus.  Despising every hour at this new, antiseptic workplace she quit on the spot one fine day. She now wonders why she waited so long. Eventually, we all boil over like pasta water left on the stove too long. The signs that we are "done, prick me with a fork" include that gnawing feeling in your gut, sometimes manifesting itself as stomach aches, nausea or a general feeling of malaise. Ulcers are the physical outcome of uncontrolled acid created by stress.
Renting out parts of our soul for short periods of time is a bargain we've accepted in our lives. Check in with your higher Self every now and then to make sure you didn't rent your soul out to a hold over tenant. Living authentically and fully leaves very little room for compromise with our lower Self. 

When Earthquakes Strike

Ever been in an earthquake? It is a terrifying experience when the ground beneath you is not solid. Nothing to hold on to, at the mercy of outside forces. My heart goes out to the people of Japan, they have a long road to recovery.

When our foundation is shaken to its core, what do we hold on to? When the outside world is not safe, what centers us from within? A life-altering event can have the same effect as an earthquake. A death, divorce, financial crisis, marriage, a baby are all life changing events. Even though some are positive, they are still frightening and throw us off our axis. When tragedy struck my world last month, I felt I was shoved off a moving train. Bruised, screaming, shocked, amazed that such a powerful force didn't actually kill me, I'm in awe of the human spirit and how it can survive such a blow to the soul. What empowered me to get up after being thrown off a moving train, dust myself off and start walking? My answer was faith, trust in the unknown. Because I don't know what else to call it. It was not hope, I had none. Hope requires positive thinking about the future, as in "I hope for a better tomorrow" or "I hope we win the lottery". What is hope anchored to? Hope is light and airy, and needs to be weighted down for substance. I believe hope is anchored to faith. I had faith but not hope, so can we have hope without faith? I'm not sure. Faith and trust sustain us through the darkness, even when we don't understand how, even when we can't see. For some, faith means God and religion, to some of us it means trust in the all-knowing, that which is beyond mortal understanding.

I'm not telling you what you should believe, I am merely tossing a few thoughts out there for you to chew on. In Japanese, the word "shin" encompasses faith, belief and trust. In Sanskrit, that word is "shraddha". Beautiful aren't they?

I wish I could tell you a personal earthquake will never strike you, but that would be naive of me. All I wish is that when it does, you can find a little faith, hang on to it for dear life and wait for the quaking to stop.

My Begging Bowl

What to do when your bowl is filled with something you don't want? When I was little and my mother would feed me a food I disliked, it got secretly tossed behind the fridge next to my chair. That worked well until the cleaning lady moved the fridge one day and my secret was uncovered. My dinner chair got moved.
I was introduced to the concept of Buddhist begging bowls in a small but lovely book titled Everyday Sacred. The monks depended on the kindness of people to fill their empty bowls with either food or money, but some days they were never filled. Plus, no choice on what they were given. On a philosophical level, what are we supposed to do when our life bowl is forcibly ladled with foulness so vile you want to vomit? Not allowed to toss it out or exchange it for a better choice. When every cell in your body rejects what's been placed in your bowl, yet you are forced into accepting it. Such is the world I live in right now. I don't want to accept Annie's gone, yet I can't bring her back. I am wedged in this corner of rejecting something abhorrent and yet knowing it will stay in my life bowl forever. How do I make peace with this? Accepting yet despising every moment of it, swallowing the bad medicine, clutching onto my soul as it screams in pain from the gaping wound still raw, I will survive the suffering and eventually heal. Through meditation and yoga, acceptance will coat rejection with the nectar of higher goodness. My begging bowl still has room for sweetness, love and peace.
May your begging bowl always be filled with all that you need and is good in this world.           

Darkness Settles In For A Long Stay

Remember my past post from 5/2/09 about a dark, damp tunnel with bats? I'm in it. A few yards in from the entry of the tunnel, I am paralyzed with fear. I can't turn back, yet I am terrified of taking a step forward deeper into the darkness. Processing grief is an individual experience, and I know I must work through it not over it to move on in my life. For the first time, I'm afraid of the space I've been slammed into, a space I know nothing about. A space NOBODY should ever be in, who knew there were levels of death that were better than others? The last time I felt pain this raw was the suicide of a dear friend of mine from high school. It all flooded back with a vengeance after Annie's death. The darkness I must blindly tread through to reach the light on the other side is uncharted for me. No GPS to state the length of this tunnel, it's possible pitfalls or curves. A mind path I must endeavour alone, deep into the recesses of my soul and uncover whatever landmines I missed in the past. This time to reach the other side, there are no shortcuts and my soul will be stripped bare.
For now, I wake up every day, I meditate and give myself permission to be in whatever space I will be in that day. Not pushing for revealment, accepting the dark tunnel, the screaming bats that I can't see and taking comfort that I am loved by so many.

Hope Floats

Martin Luther King's birthday just passed and I mused on how close to the new year it falls. When I think of Mr. King, the word "hope" always filters to the top. Hope permeates the air in January like the scent of my blossoming tangelo in springtime. After all, New Year's resolutions need a good sprinkling of hope to manifest themselves. So I am pondering the word hope. When we anchor hope onto our dreams, expectations or accomplishments, it not only gives them a sense of lightness or buoyancy but density as well. When we hope for a better life situation in the new year, it adds a weighty quality to our desire. There is a responsibility to take practical steps towards that goal, not just a wistful desire that our future improve. Turning hope into reality is an intense proposition. In my view, hope carries a lot of weight, yet is light to carry. It is that airy, souffle-like quality that I am focusing on this year. How can I lighten the load or burden of procuring myself a better life and not feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders? Every morning prior to meditation, I now ask myself what brought me happiness yesterday: a peaceful hike with my Australian Shepherd, the deep tissue massage I scheduled in the afternoon (a Christmas gift from my hubby). Then I ask what will bring me happiness that day, and think of at least one joyful experience yet to come. It may be as simple as watching a movie with my husband or enjoying a good meal with friends that coming evening. Remembering how important joy is in our daily lives keeps hope afloat within our hearts. Here is a fun question I asked my yoga students: If hope were a food, what food would it be for you? I visualize a light, airy chocolate mousse, with an intensely pure cocoa taste. Something so light on the tongue, yet exploding with flavor on the palate. I received some unexpected responses, from spinach to alfalfa sprouts, even bananas! There is no right or wrong food choice, I just felt dessert was way more fun! Share your choice in the comments section, I'd love to know. Hope props us up and helps carry us above the challenges placed before us. May your burdens be light and your joys many this upcoming year.

Mamma Mia! Here I Go Again

Yes, it's a musical. With ABBA music. I omitted both of those facts when my husband asked what the movie we were about to watch, Mamma Mia!, was about. "It's a comedy, honey", I sweetly replied. By the time he figured out there was dancing AND singing at the same time, it was too late. He abhors musicals. If I ever want to torture him, I'll tie him to a chair and force him to watch "The Sound of Music" repeatedly. But I digress. The 70's were big. Big on everything. Sequined jumpsuits w/bell bottoms wide enough to hide a family of squirrels. Platform shoes for wading through rice paddies. Cars that could double as boats, and larger than some New York apartments. It was fabulous! Why am I blogging about this? Because of one scene. Forget the decadence of a Greek island setting, Meryl Streep singing her heart out and Pierce Brosnan bravely crooning onscreen. The girls on the bed jumping and hopping captured my heart. When is the last time you jumped up and down on a bed? Let your inner child go wild? Threw caution and propriety out the window and set yourself free? Our souls need to express their silly side as well as their introspective one. Life is way too serious these days. Bounce a yo-yo, throw a Frisbee, lick a Popsicle, chase your friend with a remote control car, shoot silly string at each other, blow bubbles, and don't forget to jump on the bed! Most importantly, laugh and forget your worries.

Stay Away from the Chicken Farm

Ever smelled a chicken farm? No? Take my advice, stay as far away from the chicken farm as your VISA card will take you. Trust me on this. What about egg farms, you ask? Same as a chicken farm, as my olfactory senses learned last fall in western AZ. Don't worry, the only way you will end up in this far flung town is if you work for the largest nuclear plant in the country,..or the egg farm. Although the guy on the side of the main road as you head into town selling nuts would make a fortune selling gas masks instead. Seriously, bring a gas mask or an astronaut helmet. It seems like a charming, rural Arizona town with towering mountain ranges to the south and land as far as the eye can see. Charming that is, until this horrendous, indescribable pestilent smell creeps into your car's vents. At first you think it will pass, like skunk stink. Then it quickly floods your nasal cavity with a combination of salty, sulfuric and just plain nasty. As I gasped for a sliver of unpolluted oxygen, I hollered "what's that smell?" over and over as my seemingly oblivious husband looked over quizzically...until it hit him. How could such a sleepy, quiet town exude such a rancid aroma? The big, blue sign reading Hickman's Egg Farm said it all. That and the dead chickens across the street. Apparently, some of the smarter chickens tried to make a run for it, only to be killed by the loose dogs in a neighborhood yard. Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape slavery. As we reached the plot of dirt we drove out to see, I could not understand why anyone would live here. Miles away now, the offending scent was still quite present and as a backdrop, the majestic mountain range had a permanent cloud of low fog, a gift from the nearby nuclear plant. Oh, yes, and let us not forget the air horns visibly staked in the event of a nuclear meltdown. Really, what are the air horns for? To warn residents of impending death or permanent zombie hood when they clearly don't stand a chance of escaping?? Land is cheap out there and owning your dream ranch is attainable. I suppose someone needs to man the nuclear plant and I prefer locally grown eggs. But who knew chickens could emit such a foul odor? Disclaimer: I wrote this for you to laugh at my city girl silliness and chose not to name the town in question to protect the chickens.

Lighten Your Load

Ever notice how some people are constantly looking back? They live in coulda, woulda, shoulda land? Living in the past and wishing they'd done..whatever they didn't do? Don't you just want to scream "snap out of it!" I mean, who cares? Alright, my rant is over, whew, I feel better. If we are constantly looking back we will miss what is ahead and either, lose out on an opportunity, or hit a light pole. Don't get me wrong, we need to learn from our mistakes but why flog ourselves over it? Maybe I am missing that regret gene. Not being the most impulsive human probably eases the lack of regret. Not that I don't think being impulsive is fun, I've jumped into plenty of fountains in my time and even clambered over the balcony of a 9th story building once (to my defense I was only 10 and stupidly lucky). But regret is a waste of mind time and a depressant at that. Kicking old habits is not for the faint of heart, but kicking regret out of your consciousness will release you from your past. How to start? As one who lacks the regret gene, I can only speak from my personal vault. Think through major decisions and gather all the facts before jumping in. Apply the Golden Rule to EVERY action or inaction you take. Sprinkle kindness, patience and compassion on every person you encounter (even if it is not reciprocated). Live with passion yet restraint and see what lies ahead.

Where's Your Horizon?

One of the many things I love about the beach is my ability to spot the horizon anytime. There's something reassuring about gazing at the end of the earth, at least visually. Akin to venturing out on a new hiking trail and finally reaching that peak or rushing waterfall, there's a reward for the tired muscles and pounding heart. Yeah, I know life is supposed to be about the journey not the destination (yada, yada, yada), but we really do need to set the destination, even if it's vague or existentialist. Goals, no matter how long-term or small, keep us on the path. We may veer off a side trail and check out the duck pond, but to reach our destination we will hop back on the main route. Otherwise, we could lose our way and wind up on unmarked, rogue trails. And although the journey will be great, darkness may fall and we'll be stranded. Many of us are wondering how we wound up in the thick of this recession, and for many I know, it's a depression, both economic and emotional. Stopped in their tracks, they don't know which trail to take next. We need to reset our GPS and find a new horizon. Keep looking ahead and mind the trail signs to stay on track.

Why Postpone Joy?

I mesmerisingly stare at these words sparkling in rhinestones on a petite woman's t-shirt, and my mind stops in its tracks. Wow, great question I tell myself, and how do you answer that? The white elephant in the room answer is of course, you don't. So why do we postpone joy? That is the deeper question we each must self reflect on. My answer was duty. The duty to work to make money and pay bills. The duty to keep my home from becoming a pig sty, even though I loathe cleaning. The duty to lift weights to stave off the inevitable decay of my muscles from old age. It's the "have to" chores in my life that sometimes postpone my joy, or so I suppose. Maybe it's the attitude with which I approach these duties that needs to shift. What if I find joy in my duties instead? I'm working towards it. I now listen to NPR while the pungent smell of white vinegar wafts up my nostrils. I may as well get smarter while mopping the floors. Finding joy in real estate these days is a bit challenging, but I love my other job, teaching yoga. Paying off bills will give me peace of mind and take a load off, so there is joy in that. Lifting weights? Hmm, maybe if I were narcissistic I could admire the cut muscles on my arms, but it really doesn't do anything for me. I would just as gladly take a pill, or eat spinach. Finding joy requires looking within and shedding habits that no longer serve us, adopting new ones and finding the sparkle (tejase) in all that we do.

Forget Resolutions This New Year

I am banishing the word resolution and replacing it with intention. Doesn't it sound better already? I find resolution to be too stringent and even dictatorial. I felt guilty (leftover Catholic syndrome) when one of my plethora of New Year's resolutions failed each year. Maybe my resolutions should've included "unresolving" as well. Never mind, in with the new, out with the decrepit. Per Webster's, intention means having something in mind as a plan or design; purpose; direction or orientation of the mind toward an object; aim. I like that. I aim to practice more meditation and yoga this year, that way, if I don't quite make it, I at least intended to. An intention leads us down the path toward a goal. Whether we reach the goal or not should be beside the point. By orienting ourselves towards that path we've already changed our future.
My friend Lee pointed out to me that I'm just lowering my expectations, copping out. I told him he should be glad I lowered my expectations, as it meant he didn't need to live up to mine.
Maybe I did lower my expectations, so what? Perhaps this is the year we all do. Or we just need to shift our expectations. Expecting less money and work equals more free time to do yoga, or call Lee. Or not. He's not expecting my call anyway.

The Key to Less Stress

A fellow yoga teacher commented that every door she encounters is shut and then utters something about Mercury being in retrograde. I have no idea what that means, but I gather 'tis not good. The closed doors did peak my interest, however. Mulling the idea over, everything does seem harder than usual. When times were good, doors would open before me like magic. Now, I knock on the door and there's nobody home. I produce my master key ring set, and proceed to insert each key to no avail. Maybe I'm at the wrong doorway. Instead of forcing our way through a situation that we believe should be, perhaps we ARE at the wrong house. What if we just followed the natural flow of life and moved on to the next threshold? Or returned to that same portal at another time? Would the results be different? Would a separate point in the continuum of space produce an altered reality? After all, no two moments are the same. The very root of Taoism is going with the flow of life, not forcing anything. Westernized thinking muddies up clarity of thought with too much action or movement. Possibly, just possibly, the key to open pathways is allowing them to open before us when we are meant to pass through them. And wait for Mercury to stop being in retrograde.

In the Event of a Water Landing...

you mean if we crash into the ocean?? Love that joke from George Carlin. If you aren't familiar with it, he has a whole bit on airlines (uncut & unedited) that was way before Southwest hired comedic attendants.

Everything we say or don't say, how our speech delivery is, our choice of vocabulary, can drastically change what the intention of our words is. There is subtlety (as in water landing) and bluntness (crashing) that beg for balance when we are attempting to convey something verbally. Too vague and polite and most people miss the point entirely. Too brusque and those of a delicate nature become easily offended. So how to keep from upending someones apple cart and yet get their attention? Fact is there is no fast rule here. Most people today are riding an emotional roller coaster 24/7, so depending on where you catch them on their ride will decide how they take your words. I like to think I am somewhere in the middle of subtle and rude. Politely direct usually conveys my intentions, especially if I throw humor in the mix. Doesn't always work either. Then, I have to drive home the point like a hammer or I've already insulted someone. We cannot control the actions or reactions of others, but we can control our own. Become an observer and watch the riders on the roller coaster screaming with delight and fear, as you remain calm and detached. Don't take things too personally in this amusement park called life, it's usually not about you.

Shaken, But Not Stirred

It's 6AM in Pelham, NY and I am shaken awake. As I unfog my mind, the guest bed I lie in continues to quake beneath me. I hop out and dart into the darkened hallway, bewildered. My hosts are already there, staring strangely out the second story window. They seem frightened, and now, so am I. A bomb has hit NYC, they blurt out. My eyes, still adjusting to the dimness of the hour, strain out the window expecting an afterglow or anything to validate their wildly insane statement. Nothing. I slowly reply that I think an earthquake just jolted us out of bed. By their looks, they seem to think that's crazier than a bomb! It turns out my first earthquake occurred in NY of all places. I was in Manhattan for four days back in 1985 and experienced an earthquake. Go figure!
When your foundation is being rocked, how do you keep from losing your footing? What do you hang on to when the ground beneath you is shifting, as it did that memorable dawn in Pelham? Finding a safe center and solid ground is not always possible out there, yet always available within each and every one of us. We just may have to reach deep down into that well of inner strength and grab a big handful. What is in your well? Prayer? Meditation? Deep spirituality? If you are not sure, these unsteady times may be when you discover what your core is made of.
Best of all, earthquakes don't last forever.