I teach a weekly meditation class for the last several years. I love my students who faithfully show up even when they may not be feeling well. Showed up when we were still in a pandemic and were forced to meet outdoors in all kinds of weather while wearing a mask. But I believe our sanga (community) supported us through some of the most difficult times in our history. They helped me as much as we all helped each other.
We were all grateful when the world started to open up again. Grateful to be able to leave the house and travel. Grateful to see family and friends we had not hugged in years. So how is it, with all this gratitude going around the collective world, there is so much dissonance, war and hate dominating the world right now?
I figured I couldn't be the only one feeling angst, anxiety and stress over the distressing events occurring around us. Even as an experienced meditator, I felt all of the above feelings. Last straw was waking up Tuesday morning to jaw and mandibular pain. Enough was enough. I needed to take my emotional health into a higher gear and share my healing practice with my students.
I am sharing this Tuesdays class with you. I hope it helps anchor and center you amongst the chaos surrounding us these days.
Emotional flexibility is a trait that people with strong mental resilience possess. It is the ability to hold many different emotions at once and not allow the negative ones to poison the well. It is a skill that is not easy to master but the key is to remain present with whatever emotion bubbles to the surface. The following meditation allows me to come back from the murkiness of the negative emotions vying for my attention during chaotic times.
Find a quiet space and sit. Close your eyes or lower your gaze and focus on the rhythm of your breath. Try to breathe in and out of the nose if possible. Begin to scan the body for any areas that feel tense and send the breath there to release it. Now, begin diaphragmatic breathing. This is where we engage the entire diaphragm and divide it in thirds. The upper section is the lungs, middle section is the solar plexus above the navel, lower section is below the navel. As you inhale lightly fill each section, not forcefully but mindfully. On the exhale, expel the breath the same way. Think of it as a wave of breath. Do this for 5 minutes. If you get dizzy, just return to a normal breathing pattern and ditch the diaphragmatic breathing.
Your mind should have less thought traffic moving through it and you are ready for the next part of this meditation.
Return to normal breathing and drop your attention like a plumb line down towards the middle of your chest, into your heart space and allow it to rest there until you feel the heart expand and relax. Stay present and stay with the breath and focus on the heart space. If the heart space feels blocked, visualize a small opening with a beam of light shining through it dispersing the blockage until the heart space releases.
From this place of resting in the heart, get in touch with the emotions you are feeling. Anger, lack of control, anxiety all come from Fear. All emotions are energy so let go of the "reason" for the negative emotion and focus on the sensation within the feeling. Next, move your focus to a subtle energy in the background, the awareness from where the feeling arises and subsides. Allow the feeling or emotion to just float there, without trying to control it in any way. Eventually notice how the feeling of anxiety, anger or lack of control slowly dissolves into the subtle energy of awareness and is transmuted by the love, kindness and compassion that is also being held in that container of the heart. Allow those feelings to alchemize the negative ones and either dissolve or dissipate them.
This works well in a controlled setting but what about those times you are either at work or in your car and the negative emotions overwhelm you? Try this hack for a quick switch.
When you find the anger, anxiety or fear begin to overtake your mind, think of a quick counter thought to it. Find a phrase or a word that resonates with you, as an example " I will keep my heart open and act from Love". If that's too Pollyannaish for you, come up with a wittier one. Sometimes when I vehemently disagree with someone, I remind myself to find common ground, even if it is in my mind. We all want what is best for our children and loved ones, we all want better communities, we all want to get home safe. When I can remember that as I look into someone's eyes it helps to dissipate the anger bubbling up inside. And if all else fails, take 10 deep breaths before speaking. Or walk away.
In my past posts I speak of the physical and emotional damage stress causes us. We cannot control what is going on in the world but we CAN control how we react to it and how we allow it to affect us.
Do not allow it to poison the well of your heart.
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