Finding Calm Within the Chaos

 

I teach a weekly meditation class for the last several years. I love my students who faithfully show up even when they may not be feeling well. Showed up when we were still in a pandemic and were forced to meet outdoors in all kinds of weather while wearing a mask. But I believe our sanga (community) supported us through some of the most difficult times in our history. They helped me as much as we all helped each other. 

We were all grateful when the world started to open up again. Grateful to be able to leave the house and travel. Grateful to see family and friends we had not hugged in years. So how is it, with all this gratitude going around the collective world, there is so much dissonance, war and hate dominating the world right now?

I figured I couldn't be the only one feeling angst, anxiety and stress over the distressing events occurring around us. Even as an experienced meditator, I felt all of the above feelings. Last straw was waking up Tuesday morning to jaw and mandibular pain. Enough was enough. I needed to take my emotional health into a higher gear and share my healing practice with my students.

I am sharing this Tuesdays class with you. I hope it helps anchor and center you amongst the chaos surrounding us these days.

Emotional flexibility is a trait that people with strong mental resilience possess. It is the ability to hold many different emotions at once and not allow the negative ones to poison the well. It is a skill that is not easy to master but the key is to remain present with whatever emotion bubbles to the surface. The following meditation allows me to come back from the murkiness of the negative emotions vying for my attention during chaotic times.

Find a quiet space and sit. Close your eyes or lower your gaze and focus on the rhythm of your breath. Try to breathe in and out of the nose if possible. Begin to scan the body for any areas that feel tense and send the breath there to release it. Now, begin diaphragmatic breathing. This is where we engage the entire diaphragm and divide it in thirds. The upper section is the lungs, middle section is the solar plexus above the navel, lower section is below the navel. As you inhale lightly fill each section, not forcefully but mindfully. On the exhale, expel the breath the same way. Think of it as a wave of breath. Do this for 5 minutes. If you get dizzy, just return to a normal breathing pattern and ditch the diaphragmatic breathing.

Your mind should have less thought traffic moving through it and you are ready for the next part of this meditation.

Return to normal breathing and drop your attention like a plumb line down towards the middle of your chest, into your heart space and allow it to rest there until you feel the heart expand and relax. Stay present and stay with the breath and focus on the heart space. If the heart space feels blocked, visualize a small opening with a beam of light shining through it dispersing the blockage until the heart space releases.

From this place of resting in the heart, get in touch with the emotions you are feeling. Anger, lack of control, anxiety all come from Fear. All emotions are energy so let go of the "reason" for the negative emotion and focus on the sensation within the feeling. Next, move your focus to a subtle energy in the background, the awareness from where the feeling arises and subsides. Allow the feeling or emotion to  just float there, without trying to control it in any way. Eventually notice how the feeling of anxiety, anger or lack of control slowly dissolves into the subtle energy of awareness and is transmuted by the love, kindness and compassion that is also being held in that container of the heart. Allow those feelings to alchemize the negative ones and either dissolve or dissipate them. 

This works well in a controlled setting but what about those times you are either at work or in your car and the negative emotions overwhelm you? Try this hack for a quick switch.

When you find the anger, anxiety or fear begin to overtake your mind, think of a quick counter thought to it. Find a phrase or a word that resonates with you, as an example " I will keep my heart open and act from Love". If that's too Pollyannaish for you, come up with a wittier one. Sometimes when I vehemently disagree with someone, I remind myself to find common ground, even if it is in my mind. We all want what is best for our children and loved ones, we all want better communities, we all want to get home safe. When I can remember that as I look into someone's eyes it helps to dissipate the anger bubbling up inside. And if all else fails, take 10 deep breaths before speaking. Or walk away.

In my past posts I speak of the physical and emotional damage stress causes us. We cannot control what is going on in the world but we CAN control how we react to it and how we allow it to affect us. 

Do not allow it to poison the well of your heart.

We Have All Had a Will Smith "Moment"

 It is impossible to ignore the "slap heard around the world", it's on every news outlet. I am not going to express my opinion or hash over what is trending online. My takeaway from this is more spiritually based.

Be honest, we've all done or said something we regretted after. Where we could have handled it differently. We were triggered by a comment, an event and it set our protective ego off. Our lower self took over and reacted. Are there times when that is warranted? Absofuckinglutely! Spellcheck didn't recognize that one 😂

We are imperfect human beings to be sure. Yet Tantra yoga teaches us to accept and love ourselves with all our blemishes, imperfections and faults. Even embrace them. After all, an imperfect diamond still shines and sparkles. Shining the light of self awareness on those imperfections allows us to sift through the qualities in ourselves that damage from the ones that make us the unique, amazing souls that we are. After all, no diamond is exactly alike. Being quirky, thinking outside the box, even a bit odd adds technicolor to our human experience.

When we find ourselves triggered, that is our cue to take a time out. Take a deep breath, maybe ten, and then choose our next step wisely. And perhaps recall the 3 Gates of Speech from the Buddha, which states:

Before you Speak, Ask Yourself:

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

There is a Fourth Gate if the other three are a Yes.

Is it the Appropriate Time to Say It?

How do we shine the light of self awareness into those dark recesses of our mind and coax them out Before they set us off? The act of meditating, sitting still with ourselves hones the practice of self-awareness. Self awareness activates that filter between thought and action so we no longer react to something unconsciously. We are able to view ourselves through the lens of an observer, taking the whole picture in like the lens of a camera, without judgement or bias. This all, of course, happens very quickly but that is where a regular meditation practice comes to bear fruit.

Have there been times that even after Knowing my subsequent action was reactionary, and perhaps even inappropriate, I forged ahead anyway? Absofuckinglutely LOL  But I was fully aware of my actions and the wrath or reaction it would create. I don't think Chris Rock or Will Smith thought that last part out.

Remember, Ego is trying to protect you or give you a self esteem boost. It doesn't care who else it may harm while taking care of you. Ego can be self-centered and short sighted. And when in doubt, always act from Love NOT Fear.

Our Brain Needs Pushups!

 

We now know exercise helps the brain build new pathways, so the old saying that after a certain age we could not is now defunct.

New research at UCSF shows that the more physical activity we do, the more protective proteins we build in our brain tissue. The study subjects were 70-90 years old. This protective brain tissue wards off dementia and Alzheimers.

As I posted in this past article, exercise doesn't have to be tough on joints or extremely taxing to achieve health results, just start moving!

In my next article,  we will get into HOW to start an exercise habit and KEEP it. It's remarkably simple and easy!

Love is the Answer

 Knowing This (Fill In the Blank), How Do I Love the World? In todays' environment that Blank could be filled a thousand times but I want you to fill it with what hurts your soul. We become almost numb by all the bad news and then something comes along that slaps us in the face and stops us in our tracks. For me, it was the murder of a friend's stepdaughter by her estranged husband. Having never met her, I broke down sobbing, heaving and a pain clutching my chest. 

"Why is there so much hate in the world"? It was too much to bear. For an empath, these are tricky,  perilous waters we navigate. How do we keep our hearts open, filled with light and love when faced with atrocity?

At our most basic, every action we take, every thought we have is rooted in either Fear or Love. To quote from the must read book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, this is what Fear and Love look like:

Fear is the energy that contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. 

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, Love allows us to stand naked.

Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, Love gives all that we have away.

Fear holds close, Love holds dear.

Fear grasps, Love lets go.

Fear rankles, Love soothes.

Fear attacks, Love amends.

Beautiful isn't it? Being self aware enough to know where our thoughts and actions come from, enables us to choose differently. Gives us the capacity to change our trajectory, course of action. Meditation is the birthing place of self awareness, where we shift our view of the world from "I" the ego to the selfless, to the all encompassing "oneness". Where we remember we are all tethered by an unbreakable thread of connection. Does this awareness make atrocities any easier to witness or face? It does not. What it does do is remind us to focus on the light not the darkness. To have faith that there is more good than bad, simply put.  That instead of wanting to close down, shield up from pain, hang a NO Vacancy sign on our hearts, we honor the victims by keeping up the good fight, by helping others in turn, by offering support to those who are suffering. We recognize the darkness and shine our light on it to force it out of hiding. 

Because that is what LOVE does.

A Couple's Weight Loss Success Story

 Roy, at 76, lost 44lbs and 8 inches off his waistline in Five months and Trish, at 69, lost 22lbs of fat and 4 inches off her waistline. How did they do it? These are the concrete steps they took. 

1. They wanted to get back to their pre-pandemic exercise routine but were not comfortable going back to a gym setting as Covid is still prevalent. So they made the decision to hire a Personal Trainer that would come to their home. They chose to invest in themselves and their health.

2. After our preliminary meeting, we got to work. Every personal trainer will take body measurements and perform a senior fitness test to assess a baseline. Their main goal was to lose weight along with physical conditioning. We set a reasonable timeline for a specific amount of weight loss and off we went! With their Personal Training package purchase, came a Free nutritional assessment.

3. I met with R & T monthly. I checked up on them weekly to see how they were progressing, what wasn't working, any questions or concerns they had. Nutrition is a huge component for weight loss, after all, you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet!! We tweaked their nutritional intake as we progressed along.

4. R & T were diligent about exercising and following a nutritional diet, even switching to a low carb beer! They motivated each other and seeing the scale go down along with their blood work numbers improve dramatically kept them on track and encouraged them to do more.

5. We added HIIT training to encourage fat loss but keep muscle and they loved that! Who doesn't love HIIT? 20 minutes and you're done!

6. They are a hip, adorable couple always willing to learn, adapt and try new things. One of those new things was a fitness tracker and a food journal app for their phone. Dare I say, they are addicted to the fitness tracker. Who of us isn't? Such a cool way of tracking calories burned, heart rate, sleep patterns, even oxygen levels.

Roy surpassed the weight loss goal we set by 14 lbs. Trish did phenomenal and her entire weight loss was in fat lbs. Yes, we can measure that! More importantly, they feel better, look great and have more energy to play with their grandchild and do the activities they love. This Christmas, Roy's Santa outfit didn't fit, Mrs. Claus had to add padding LOL But the kids didn't notice.

As we enter a New Year, get clear on what fitness and health goals you want to accomplish for yourself. Be specific. Remember, to create a new habit we must break or lose an old one. Then, take action towards that goal. Whether it's hiring a Personal Trainer, a Nutritionist, joining a gym or starting a walking program with a friend. Every step counts. 

As a Holistic Fitness Coach I focus on all aspects of health, including physical, nutritional and emotional. I have several different programs to fit your budget. As a lifelong fitness enthusiast and long time fitness instructor, my goal is to build a successful fitness coaching business. To encourage that, my rates today are very reasonable to help promote growth and a referral source. What are you waiting for?

                                                    Roy December 2021, Santa bought smaller jeans