Stop Dealing Drugs

to your family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. NOT those kinds of drugs, we are talking about emotional addicts and how we enable them. My definition of addiction is simple: something you can't stop. Every time someones becomes angry, the hypothalamus in the brain produces chemicals to be released into the bloodstream. The problem with an addict, is he always wants more. So, a person addicted to anger will conjure up situations (whether real or imagined) to trigger the emotional "hit" they need. We, as enablers, allow the person to trigger a reaction out of us that will give them the hit they seek. Ever wonder why some people pick fights out of nowhere? Why some people always have drama in their life? View a short video on emotional addiction.
I have a couple of questions I ask myself whenever someone seems to be needing a reaction out of me. What emotional "hit" am I fulfilling for them (anger, frustration, victimization)? Do I want to give them this? If my answer is no, I simply withhold what they need. I don't give them the emotional reaction they are expecting from me. On the contrary, my response is either changing the subject or responding in an objective way that I know won't create that "hit" for them. This usually works, unless it's someone who's been faithfully counting on you as their "drug dealer" for years, like a relative or good friend. Then, it's a little more complicated and will require you to stand strong in your position. At first, the addict will be slightly confused at your new behavior. Then he will try different tactics to cajol that needed reaction out of you. Don't be surprised if he becomes rude, combative or desperate (just like a drug addict). Over time, he will seek someone else to provide the emotional high he needs. Be aware you may lose this relationship if you choose to change your behavior towards them, but you may also be the first step they need to overcome their addiction.
Emotions aren't wrong, they make life more colorful. The important thing to remember is not to allow our emotional states to control us, otherwise we must be addicted to them.

Understanding Shiva's Dance

I experienced two of the five acts of Shiva last week. A path opened before me, all the pieces fell into place, and feeling pretty good (read ego) about following my intuitive self, headed off skipping happily down the path. Unexpectedly, an obstacle got thrown right in my way. I was confused and blindsided, as I was sure the signs of karma had led me here and could not understand the derailing. Instead of reacting with anger or frustration though, I chose to wait. Wait for the purpose of the obstacle to be revealed. The challenge, apart from corking my ego like an unhappy genie in a bottle, was to be patient and have trust while the reason was concealed from me. As the obstacle lifted, an unexpected gift came with it. Smiling inwardly, I understood the reason for the concealment and the lesson learned when the time for revealment came. I learned that life's bumps, potholes, detours and delays are there to teach us patience and trust. The patience to not overreact and trust in the unknown (the unrevealed). The unknown will reveal itself when it is ready.

Our lives are in a constant flow of concealment and revealment. Awareness helps us become more in touch with the natural pulsation of life (prana). As the dark side of the moon reveals itself unhurried, we can wait in the darkness armed with trust and patience knowing the light will reveal our path in due time.

So Many Hats, So Little Time

Lately, I've been adding hats to my already diverse collection. These are great hats, some are simple by design and others are more intricate. My sombreros have names and include the following: real estate agent, marketing specialist, bookkeeper, office manager, yoga teacher, qigong instructor, stress management coach, blogger, friend, sister, wife, auntie, daughter, mom to 4-legged child, home CEO (domestic goddess), etc... Whew, I'm exhausted just reading the list.

During this economic turmoil, we are all wearing more hats. I find they all need to be worn at least once in a while or they get dusty and start to feel neglected. The important thing to remember while wearing that specific hat is to BE THE HAT. While wearing the yoga teacher hat, I stay focused on being the teacher, not get distracted by all the other hats waiting to be worn. Focusing on the present task at hand allows us to live in the moment and be our best. It also keeps me from burning dinner - where's my chef's hat?

Knowing when to turn down another hat is also paramount. After all, we only have one head, and you look silly wearing several hats at the same time!! You may need to juggle a few hats at a time, just know you might drop one or two inadvertently.

How many hats do you wear? Are there some you could give to someone else or retire completely? Taking inventory, every now and then, of our duties in life helps us prioritize and discard what no longer serves us. As you look at that hat, ask yourself the question: Does this serve me any longer?

Off comes the blogger chapeau as I snug on my hiker cap.

Take a Chill Pill...

and pass the bottle on. People just need to slow down, stop overreacting, being judgmental and selfish. Wow, I think I just solved the world's problems in one sentence. Now why is something so seemingly simple so difficult to do? Mind-body practices rewire our brain to do just that! Hatha (physical) yoga teaches us to slow down, both within and without. Qigong and tai chi quiet the mind by focusing on the present moment. All brands of meditation not only train the brain and body to chill, but habituate us into "unplugging" our mind and disassociate the memories that trigger overreaction, judgement, anger and all negative thought patterns.
When we become aware of our thoughts, we can change them. Self-awareness eventually stamps out self-involvement.
We only need to convince all the politicians and leaders of this blue planet that the answer to a better world is meditation. I think the Dalai Lama's been at this for a while and will be (unless we give these people partial lobotomies). Now there's an idea!

It's Dark, Damp, with Screaming Bats!

Well, there are bats in my tunnel. It adds to the drama. Although this is a serious subject, humor and laughter are great destressors!

We all have moments or events in our lives we don't want to experience. We have no control or choice but to plow through the crisis. A job loss, unexpected health issue, death in the family... These acute stress events usually blindside us and throw us off our axis. One way to relieve the anxiety is to process the life changing circumstance through visual imagery. It is one of the methods I use to help me accept a difficult situation. It is my true desire that it benefits you as well.

I visualize myself standing, facing a one-way tunnel on the side of a high mountain range, like the Alps. I can't turn around, it's impossible for me to bypass the tunnel and realize I have to go through it. I know there is an end to the tunnel and there is light on the other side. I just don't know what will happen in the tunnel (here is where my bats come in) or how long it is. I take a deep breath, muster all my courage, shed my fears (as I know bats smell fear), and step into the darkness. The only motivation that keeps me walking down the tunnel is knowing there is another side. I don't know what's there waiting for me, but I do know there will be light, in the form of revealment, resolution, acceptance and knowledge.

Now, if I could just find that bat repellent spray...

Nothing Restorative about Restorative Yoga

I teach power yoga, yoga for athletes, intermediate yoga, PiYo, all active, rigorous forms of yoga. Didn't see restorative yoga in there? No? And from my first class last week, you won't see it anytime soon either. OK, that may have been a bit harsh. I looked up the word restorative in the dictionary and it states "to bring back to health, strength, etc...". I walked out of this class thinking "that was it?". After holding 4 poses for an hour, I wondered why anybody would spend good money on this versus a meditation class. My legs fell asleep (according to the instructor that's normal), I was uncomfortable and therefore could not relax into the pose, and it was cold in there. I looked forward to savasana (corpse pose), a rare moment in the middle of my day where I could sneak some meditation time. But, alas, that was the ONE pose that was only 5 minutes long!
The spiritual side of me gently points out that maybe I need restorative yoga, as I disliked it so much. That my restlesness is exactly what restorative yoga will eventually dissolve. I wittingly respond that I meditate for long periods of time without a problem, so that's not it. By now, I realize I am arguing with myself and quickly end the discussion.
There is a solid foundation to needing exactly what we dislike. To live in harmony and balance is to live by the rule of Yin Yang. To be well-rounded, we need to nurture both sides. The Yang side, fast, revealing and expanding, needs its opposite. The slow pace of restorative yoga, its emphasis on concealment and contraction (going within) by the nature of its poses is the perfect antidote. So, just as a bitter pill may heal us, maybe I will give restorative yoga another try...someday.

What the Heck is Qigong?

"Qi what?? Never heard of it." That's a typical response when I mention I teach and practice qigong. Not as well known as its cousin, tai chi, qigong is starting to make inroads in the Western Hemisphere. Over 2,500 years old and practiced by millions of people each day, qigong is centered on opening one's meridians, or channels, and keeping our internal chi (energy) flowing. This is the cornerstone of Chinese medicine. In East Indian medicine, Ayurveda, it revolves around the 7 chakras and prana (energy).
Qigong is best described as training our internal energy. We keep it moving freely and strengthen it to keep us healthy. If you've never "felt" your chi before, it is a life-changing moment. You can never go back after that experience. One begins to understand the undercurrent of life that exists in everything, from plants to places to the universe. The concept that we are all one becomes clear and obvious. Our relationship with ourselves becomes deeper and collaborative.
I am NOT a touchy feely kind of person, everyone who knows me will attest to that. I started qigong with an open mind, but not expecting anything. I came out with a deeper self-awareness and a changed view of the world and how I affect it and fit into it. Your experience may be different. What you receive from qigong will be exactly what you need.
My qigong teaching schedule is as follows: YMCA Scottsdale/PV-Starting April 6th, once a week for 5 wks Mondays 8PM. * Fountain Hills Trufit Studios, check flyer posted on this blog.

Turn Off the Bad News Channel

I am on a lifelong search. Sometimes I find this elusive elixir I search for, only to lose it once more. We all need it, yearn for it, curse at it when it goes away, but many of us can't seem to hold on it. Last week, once again, this lifesaving drug eluded me. Determined to re-capture it, I tried a new tactic. I turned off the 10PM news. And that night, I slept like a baby. Sleep, oh wonderful sleep! Overstimulating my brain with shootings, drug arrests, economic meltdowns & layoffs was just not conducive to getting my zzzzz's. Go figure. I don't consider myself a news junkie, but I like staying connected. Apparently, my brain needs to disconnect to recharge. A side benefit, apart from looking more rested, being less irritable and packing more energy, is I am finally catching up on some reading. It means I am dusting off that Yoga Journal from 2006 and reading it cover to cover. Not to mention the eternal stacks of half read books on my night table (I do rotate them, it makes them feel special).

Not getting enough sleep ages our biological clock, depletes our immune system and causes more stress-related symptoms. Try turning off the TV one hour before going to bed this week, or in my case, retreating to the bedroom and closing the door. My husband can watch the Suns game as long as he wants, I'm learning about that perfect backbend!

Do Not Disturb the Water

We see the mirror of ourselves in still water, not rushing water. I view my mind as the surface of a lake. Sometimes, it is as busy as prime boating season, with ski boats racing everywhere, and jet skis buzzing around. At other times, it is rippling endlessly, courtesy of a perfectly cast skipping stone. And still, there are those precious, wondrous times when the surface of that sapphire lake is a looking-glass mirroring the endless sky above. It is in those moments that I catch a glimpse of my soul...and smile at its beauty. May your meditation lead your mind to this unstirred water.

Just Breathe!

One of the first stress management techniques I teach my students is breathing. It's easy to learn, can be done anywhere, anytime and is extremely effective. Diaphragmatic breathing involves the upper & middle chest and abdominals. Separate the breath in thirds on the inhale and the exhale. One third for abdominals, one third for middle chest and one third for upper chest. Keeping the mouth closed at all times (unless you have sinus issues), inhale through the nose and into your belly. Place one hand on your belly and feel it rise with the inhalation. You will notice your middle chest expand as it fills and last, your upper chest. Hold the breath for a count of three. Exhaling through the nose, exhale from upper chest one third of the breath out, then move to your middle chest and feel that collapsing, and finally squeeze all the breath from your belly. Hold the breath for a count of three at this point and then inhale again and repeat the process. If possible, shut your eyes and focus on body awareness and where the breath is moving. A good rule is to inhale to a count of six, hold for a count of three, exhale to a count of six or eight, hold for a count of three and repeat. Continue this breathing pattern for five to ten rounds.
When we slow down the breath, we send a message to our brain that we are not stressed. This stops or slows down the stress response.
The more you practice this technique, the more immediate your relaxation response will be.