Joy in a Lunchbox

Who knew Blondie could make me giggle like a little girl? The story I am about to tell you is true, to the horror of my mother, I am sharing it with the blogosphere. She would be mortified!

Once upon a time, at the bottom of a hill in a quiet, middle class neighborhood in Staten Island there was a pile of broken, used, loved but unneeded items waiting for the trash collector. My tear-filled 7-year old eyes kept staring in disbelief at the shiny metal lunchbox sitting there. I loved that lunchbox, but mom said we couldn't take it to Spain with us. There just was no room. No room for a lunchbox??? We had room for a stupid old baby grand piano but not my favorite lunchbox? I cried so hard and to this day, with crystal clear vision, can see my treasure waiting at the curb. I remember the day my mom bought it for me. I had waited for what seemed eternity for my Blondie lunchbox. Then, one day at the supermarket, I spotted it neatly lined up on an upper shelf above the open freezer with scores of other lunchboxes. I squealed with delight, jumping up and down pointing at it! I HAD to have it, so the nice clerk climbed up the ladder and handed it to me. I quickly unlatched it, but there was no Thermos. No Thermos? The man looked around at all the other lunchboxes, but this was the last Blondie left. I glanced quickly at my mom terrified she would make me give it back and told her there was no way I was giving up Blondie, Thermos or not. She asked the man if it would be possible to take one from a different lunchbox and my Blondie lunchbox was complete with a Yellow Submarine (yes, from the Beatles) Thermos. I carried that lunchbox everywhere! I was soooo happy! Until the day we moved to Barcelona, Spain.

I've never forgiven my mother for that atrocity, it was psychologically damaging. She has apologized over and over for this faux pas, and I certainly seem to have survived without it. In fact, I didn't realize how much it affected me until last week. A friend gave me an unexpected gift for just being a friend. You guessed it, a Blondie lunchbox with the correct Thermos this time around. See picture accompanying this entry to see me clutching it with absolute joy and delight!

Even I was surprised at how much joy and completeness it brought me. My friend remarked how brokenhearted he was when I told him the story a while back and wanted to show his gratefulness by giving me this incredibly thoughtful gift.

My Blondie lunchbox and I are reunited at last, a complete circle of sorts. I've forgiven my mother and I am NEVER letting this one out of my hands! Our joys in life sometimes come in the most unexpected packages. The gift of gratitude is the most awesome gift of all. May gratitude find its way to you, and when it does, pass it on!

In 30 Seconds, You're Homeless

The sound and force of a freight train plows through your home at 165MPH, levels it and as quickly as it showed up the train leaves. Within seconds your life is changed, your belongings strewn for miles, it's dark, raining and you are homeless. Except it's not a freight train that ripped away your home, it was an F3 tornado. This is what happened in Millbury, Ohio recently. My girlfriend Sue lives in the neighboring town and the twister roared by a half mile from her home. After viewing the devastating pictures of the damage, I am eternally grateful she and her family are safe. Now it is time to grieve for the dead and help those who were injured or left homeless. Those who were lucky enough to escape the wrath of the twister are left to grapple with an array of emotions: relief, sadness, guilt, grief among others. Tornadoes are especially cruel when weighed against other natural disasters. They are selective on what they destroy. Just view the pictures of Millbury and see. One home is intact and the next door home is flattened to the ground. It is that indiscriminate characteristic of tornadoes that leads to the inevitable question: "Why me?" Is it a matter of luck, fate, God's will? It's none of those, of course. No matter how carefully we craft our lives, plan and organize them, life happens. There is a saying that states "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans". If the raw power of nature teaches us anything, it is that we do not have complete control over our lives. We are at the mercy of the unknown. Sometimes bad things just happen for no reason, not because of superstition, religion, punishment, karma or whatever other label our subconscious tries to slap on it. Accepting that the universe is chaotic and at times without rhyme or reason, is a concept I am coming to terms with. There is one word that sums up how to deal with the uncertainty life throws at us: Grace. And that is how the wonderful people of Millbury and surrounding areas are handling this disaster, with grace. To make a donation to the Toledo Red Cross Chapter, click here.

Where's Your Horizon?

One of the many things I love about the beach is my ability to spot the horizon anytime. There's something reassuring about gazing at the end of the earth, at least visually. Akin to venturing out on a new hiking trail and finally reaching that peak or rushing waterfall, there's a reward for the tired muscles and pounding heart. Yeah, I know life is supposed to be about the journey not the destination (yada, yada, yada), but we really do need to set the destination, even if it's vague or existentialist. Goals, no matter how long-term or small, keep us on the path. We may veer off a side trail and check out the duck pond, but to reach our destination we will hop back on the main route. Otherwise, we could lose our way and wind up on unmarked, rogue trails. And although the journey will be great, darkness may fall and we'll be stranded. Many of us are wondering how we wound up in the thick of this recession, and for many I know, it's a depression, both economic and emotional. Stopped in their tracks, they don't know which trail to take next. We need to reset our GPS and find a new horizon. Keep looking ahead and mind the trail signs to stay on track.

Why Postpone Joy?

I mesmerisingly stare at these words sparkling in rhinestones on a petite woman's t-shirt, and my mind stops in its tracks. Wow, great question I tell myself, and how do you answer that? The white elephant in the room answer is of course, you don't. So why do we postpone joy? That is the deeper question we each must self reflect on. My answer was duty. The duty to work to make money and pay bills. The duty to keep my home from becoming a pig sty, even though I loathe cleaning. The duty to lift weights to stave off the inevitable decay of my muscles from old age. It's the "have to" chores in my life that sometimes postpone my joy, or so I suppose. Maybe it's the attitude with which I approach these duties that needs to shift. What if I find joy in my duties instead? I'm working towards it. I now listen to NPR while the pungent smell of white vinegar wafts up my nostrils. I may as well get smarter while mopping the floors. Finding joy in real estate these days is a bit challenging, but I love my other job, teaching yoga. Paying off bills will give me peace of mind and take a load off, so there is joy in that. Lifting weights? Hmm, maybe if I were narcissistic I could admire the cut muscles on my arms, but it really doesn't do anything for me. I would just as gladly take a pill, or eat spinach. Finding joy requires looking within and shedding habits that no longer serve us, adopting new ones and finding the sparkle (tejase) in all that we do.

Are the Flying Monkeys Chasing You?

There are weeks I feel the Wicked Witch of the West is relentlessly chasing me around with those flying monkeys of hers. I swat them away but they continue to be on my back. Surrendering to the green-faced evil one is no option in my book, but there are times I am tired of running! What if Dorothy hadn't run away? She would have been safely tucked in the storm cellar and had no adventures at all. How boring. Many of us took calculated risks to boost our retirement savings or advance our financial nest eggs and got caught in this economic down spiraling tornado. Hindsight is 20/20 and perhaps we would rethink some of our choices, but the only regrets you have in life are the risks you didn't take. Yes, didn't take. I personally don't believe in regret, so I do wander outside of the farm every once in a while to check out Kansas (the world).

Would I change some of my past choices? Absolutely, but I made the decisions at the time with all the information I had, and not knowing any wizards, could not read the future. So I will keep trekking to Oz and dreaming of multi-color changing horses. Just watch out for the flying monkeys!

Go Fly a Kite!

As I tug on the string determined to conquer the crosswinds whipping our rainbow striped kite, my 7-year old nephew J. screams out "this is so much fun, Aunt Marie!!". Now I admit I am no master kite flyer, but J. thinks I rule. We stood out there one brisk afternoon last week (rare in Phoenix) happily flying a kite. Laughing when it torpedoed down, seemingly straight for us, and smiling from ear to ear as we watched our kite play in the wind. It seemed more like a dance with nature, a game of cosmic tug-of-war.

I had a blast flying this long-tailed kite, feeling like a kid without a care in the world, reveling in the simplicity of pure contentment (santosha). I wondered what thoughts this evoked in others who saw our high-flying kite. What immediately comes to your mind when catching sight of a kite jostling in the wind? Finding contentment or joy needn't be expensive, complicated or full of attachments. We found it in a $5 kite and a good breeze!

Keeping those pesky New Years' resolutions

One of the best tips I heard recently about keeping a resolution was to commit to it until Valentine's Day. Seems like a reasonable time frame, and gives me a goal to reach for. The other tip was to be very specific and realistic about that resolution. It's not enough to say, " I'm going to exercise more" or " I will lose 20 lbs. by spring". Set a smaller goal for weight loss and be specific about how many days per week to exercise. As a lifelong exerciser, my way of keeping myself on track is to keep an exercise calendar. After every workout, I write it down. Towards the end of the week, I can see if I need to throw in an extra cardio or yoga day in. I keep the calendar somewhere visible so I can't ignore it :). Life happens, so cut yourself a break if you falter once in a while on that resolution. Happy New Year!