Love is the Answer

 Knowing This (Fill In the Blank), How Do I Love the World? In todays' environment that Blank could be filled a thousand times but I want you to fill it with what hurts your soul. We become almost numb by all the bad news and then something comes along that slaps us in the face and stops us in our tracks. For me, it was the murder of a friend's stepdaughter by her estranged husband. Having never met her, I broke down sobbing, heaving and a pain clutching my chest. 

"Why is there so much hate in the world"? It was too much to bear. For an empath, these are tricky,  perilous waters we navigate. How do we keep our hearts open, filled with light and love when faced with atrocity?

At our most basic, every action we take, every thought we have is rooted in either Fear or Love. To quote from the must read book "Conversations with God Book 1" by Neale Donald Walsch, this is what Fear and Love look like:

Fear is the energy that contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. 

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, Love allows us to stand naked.

Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, Love gives all that we have away.

Fear holds close, Love holds dear.

Fear grasps, Love lets go.

Fear rankles, Love soothes.

Fear attacks, Love amends.

Beautiful isn't it? Being self aware enough to know where our thoughts and actions come from, enables us to choose differently. Gives us the capacity to change our trajectory, course of action. Meditation is the birthing place of self awareness, where we shift our view of the world from "I" the ego to the selfless, to the all encompassing "oneness". Where we remember we are all tethered by an unbreakable thread of connection. Does this awareness make atrocities any easier to witness or face? It does not. What it does do is remind us to focus on the light not the darkness. To have faith that there is more good than bad, simply put.  That instead of wanting to close down, shield up from pain, hang a NO Vacancy sign on our hearts, we honor the victims by keeping up the good fight, by helping others in turn, by offering support to those who are suffering. We recognize the darkness and shine our light on it to force it out of hiding. 

Because that is what LOVE does.

Mamma Mia! Here I Go Again

Yes, it's a musical. With ABBA music. I omitted both of those facts when my husband asked what the movie we were about to watch, Mamma Mia!, was about. "It's a comedy, honey", I sweetly replied. By the time he figured out there was dancing AND singing at the same time, it was too late. He abhors musicals. If I ever want to torture him, I'll tie him to a chair and force him to watch "The Sound of Music" repeatedly. But I digress. The 70's were big. Big on everything. Sequined jumpsuits w/bell bottoms wide enough to hide a family of squirrels. Platform shoes for wading through rice paddies. Cars that could double as boats, and larger than some New York apartments. It was fabulous! Why am I blogging about this? Because of one scene. Forget the decadence of a Greek island setting, Meryl Streep singing her heart out and Pierce Brosnan bravely crooning onscreen. The girls on the bed jumping and hopping captured my heart. When is the last time you jumped up and down on a bed? Let your inner child go wild? Threw caution and propriety out the window and set yourself free? Our souls need to express their silly side as well as their introspective one. Life is way too serious these days. Bounce a yo-yo, throw a Frisbee, lick a Popsicle, chase your friend with a remote control car, shoot silly string at each other, blow bubbles, and don't forget to jump on the bed! Most importantly, laugh and forget your worries.

Lighten Your Load

Ever notice how some people are constantly looking back? They live in coulda, woulda, shoulda land? Living in the past and wishing they'd done..whatever they didn't do? Don't you just want to scream "snap out of it!" I mean, who cares? Alright, my rant is over, whew, I feel better. If we are constantly looking back we will miss what is ahead and either, lose out on an opportunity, or hit a light pole. Don't get me wrong, we need to learn from our mistakes but why flog ourselves over it? Maybe I am missing that regret gene. Not being the most impulsive human probably eases the lack of regret. Not that I don't think being impulsive is fun, I've jumped into plenty of fountains in my time and even clambered over the balcony of a 9th story building once (to my defense I was only 10 and stupidly lucky). But regret is a waste of mind time and a depressant at that. Kicking old habits is not for the faint of heart, but kicking regret out of your consciousness will release you from your past. How to start? As one who lacks the regret gene, I can only speak from my personal vault. Think through major decisions and gather all the facts before jumping in. Apply the Golden Rule to EVERY action or inaction you take. Sprinkle kindness, patience and compassion on every person you encounter (even if it is not reciprocated). Live with passion yet restraint and see what lies ahead.

Where's Your Horizon?

One of the many things I love about the beach is my ability to spot the horizon anytime. There's something reassuring about gazing at the end of the earth, at least visually. Akin to venturing out on a new hiking trail and finally reaching that peak or rushing waterfall, there's a reward for the tired muscles and pounding heart. Yeah, I know life is supposed to be about the journey not the destination (yada, yada, yada), but we really do need to set the destination, even if it's vague or existentialist. Goals, no matter how long-term or small, keep us on the path. We may veer off a side trail and check out the duck pond, but to reach our destination we will hop back on the main route. Otherwise, we could lose our way and wind up on unmarked, rogue trails. And although the journey will be great, darkness may fall and we'll be stranded. Many of us are wondering how we wound up in the thick of this recession, and for many I know, it's a depression, both economic and emotional. Stopped in their tracks, they don't know which trail to take next. We need to reset our GPS and find a new horizon. Keep looking ahead and mind the trail signs to stay on track.

Why Postpone Joy?

I mesmerisingly stare at these words sparkling in rhinestones on a petite woman's t-shirt, and my mind stops in its tracks. Wow, great question I tell myself, and how do you answer that? The white elephant in the room answer is of course, you don't. So why do we postpone joy? That is the deeper question we each must self reflect on. My answer was duty. The duty to work to make money and pay bills. The duty to keep my home from becoming a pig sty, even though I loathe cleaning. The duty to lift weights to stave off the inevitable decay of my muscles from old age. It's the "have to" chores in my life that sometimes postpone my joy, or so I suppose. Maybe it's the attitude with which I approach these duties that needs to shift. What if I find joy in my duties instead? I'm working towards it. I now listen to NPR while the pungent smell of white vinegar wafts up my nostrils. I may as well get smarter while mopping the floors. Finding joy in real estate these days is a bit challenging, but I love my other job, teaching yoga. Paying off bills will give me peace of mind and take a load off, so there is joy in that. Lifting weights? Hmm, maybe if I were narcissistic I could admire the cut muscles on my arms, but it really doesn't do anything for me. I would just as gladly take a pill, or eat spinach. Finding joy requires looking within and shedding habits that no longer serve us, adopting new ones and finding the sparkle (tejase) in all that we do.

The Key to Less Stress

A fellow yoga teacher commented that every door she encounters is shut and then utters something about Mercury being in retrograde. I have no idea what that means, but I gather 'tis not good. The closed doors did peak my interest, however. Mulling the idea over, everything does seem harder than usual. When times were good, doors would open before me like magic. Now, I knock on the door and there's nobody home. I produce my master key ring set, and proceed to insert each key to no avail. Maybe I'm at the wrong doorway. Instead of forcing our way through a situation that we believe should be, perhaps we ARE at the wrong house. What if we just followed the natural flow of life and moved on to the next threshold? Or returned to that same portal at another time? Would the results be different? Would a separate point in the continuum of space produce an altered reality? After all, no two moments are the same. The very root of Taoism is going with the flow of life, not forcing anything. Westernized thinking muddies up clarity of thought with too much action or movement. Possibly, just possibly, the key to open pathways is allowing them to open before us when we are meant to pass through them. And wait for Mercury to stop being in retrograde.

It's Dark, Damp, with Screaming Bats!

Well, there are bats in my tunnel. It adds to the drama. Although this is a serious subject, humor and laughter are great destressors!

We all have moments or events in our lives we don't want to experience. We have no control or choice but to plow through the crisis. A job loss, unexpected health issue, death in the family... These acute stress events usually blindside us and throw us off our axis. One way to relieve the anxiety is to process the life changing circumstance through visual imagery. It is one of the methods I use to help me accept a difficult situation. It is my true desire that it benefits you as well.

I visualize myself standing, facing a one-way tunnel on the side of a high mountain range, like the Alps. I can't turn around, it's impossible for me to bypass the tunnel and realize I have to go through it. I know there is an end to the tunnel and there is light on the other side. I just don't know what will happen in the tunnel (here is where my bats come in) or how long it is. I take a deep breath, muster all my courage, shed my fears (as I know bats smell fear), and step into the darkness. The only motivation that keeps me walking down the tunnel is knowing there is another side. I don't know what's there waiting for me, but I do know there will be light, in the form of revealment, resolution, acceptance and knowledge.

Now, if I could just find that bat repellent spray...

Go Fly a Kite!

As I tug on the string determined to conquer the crosswinds whipping our rainbow striped kite, my 7-year old nephew J. screams out "this is so much fun, Aunt Marie!!". Now I admit I am no master kite flyer, but J. thinks I rule. We stood out there one brisk afternoon last week (rare in Phoenix) happily flying a kite. Laughing when it torpedoed down, seemingly straight for us, and smiling from ear to ear as we watched our kite play in the wind. It seemed more like a dance with nature, a game of cosmic tug-of-war.

I had a blast flying this long-tailed kite, feeling like a kid without a care in the world, reveling in the simplicity of pure contentment (santosha). I wondered what thoughts this evoked in others who saw our high-flying kite. What immediately comes to your mind when catching sight of a kite jostling in the wind? Finding contentment or joy needn't be expensive, complicated or full of attachments. We found it in a $5 kite and a good breeze!