Why Postpone Joy?

I mesmerisingly stare at these words sparkling in rhinestones on a petite woman's t-shirt, and my mind stops in its tracks. Wow, great question I tell myself, and how do you answer that? The white elephant in the room answer is of course, you don't. So why do we postpone joy? That is the deeper question we each must self reflect on. My answer was duty. The duty to work to make money and pay bills. The duty to keep my home from becoming a pig sty, even though I loathe cleaning. The duty to lift weights to stave off the inevitable decay of my muscles from old age. It's the "have to" chores in my life that sometimes postpone my joy, or so I suppose. Maybe it's the attitude with which I approach these duties that needs to shift. What if I find joy in my duties instead? I'm working towards it. I now listen to NPR while the pungent smell of white vinegar wafts up my nostrils. I may as well get smarter while mopping the floors. Finding joy in real estate these days is a bit challenging, but I love my other job, teaching yoga. Paying off bills will give me peace of mind and take a load off, so there is joy in that. Lifting weights? Hmm, maybe if I were narcissistic I could admire the cut muscles on my arms, but it really doesn't do anything for me. I would just as gladly take a pill, or eat spinach. Finding joy requires looking within and shedding habits that no longer serve us, adopting new ones and finding the sparkle (tejase) in all that we do.

Forget Resolutions This New Year

I am banishing the word resolution and replacing it with intention. Doesn't it sound better already? I find resolution to be too stringent and even dictatorial. I felt guilty (leftover Catholic syndrome) when one of my plethora of New Year's resolutions failed each year. Maybe my resolutions should've included "unresolving" as well. Never mind, in with the new, out with the decrepit. Per Webster's, intention means having something in mind as a plan or design; purpose; direction or orientation of the mind toward an object; aim. I like that. I aim to practice more meditation and yoga this year, that way, if I don't quite make it, I at least intended to. An intention leads us down the path toward a goal. Whether we reach the goal or not should be beside the point. By orienting ourselves towards that path we've already changed our future.
My friend Lee pointed out to me that I'm just lowering my expectations, copping out. I told him he should be glad I lowered my expectations, as it meant he didn't need to live up to mine.
Maybe I did lower my expectations, so what? Perhaps this is the year we all do. Or we just need to shift our expectations. Expecting less money and work equals more free time to do yoga, or call Lee. Or not. He's not expecting my call anyway.

Finding Thankfulness

I didn't grow up celebrating Thanksgiving or eating turkey. I'm not a pilgrim descendant and could live the rest of my life without gobbling turkey again. Yet, I understand the significance behind this traditional American holiday. Being thankful and grateful for what we have doesn't require a special day, just an opening of the heart. Giving thanks and sharing what we have with loved ones (and even strangers) is how we should be every day of the year. Thanksgiving Day reminds us that no matter how challenging our year may seem, there is always something to be grateful for. As long as we have breath, we have life. Prana, in Sanskrit, means breath of life. Without one, you cannot have the other. As the door chime rings tomorrow, take a moment and close your eyes, inhale deeply, remember prana and then open the door to those crazy relatives of yours.
May you enjoy a bountiful day tomorrow, both within and without.
Happy Thanksgiving!

I Survived My First 5K!

Thank you to those who donated to the Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure in Phoenix Oct. 11, 2009 (hope I didn't bug too much)! That's me and my hubby, who was very supportive even as I dragged him into this. My own experience training for this race taught me a couple of things: 1. Running is hard! 2. Training on a treadmill has little resemblance to real running.

We live in brutally hot Phoenix, so running outside to train was not an option. My first foray outside my front door in running shoes was last week. I was pretty demoralized by the time I got back home, and after running a second day with severe side flank pain as if my liver were about to explode (for some reason duck liver pate kept coming to mind) I was positive I'd made a mistake. Looking on the bright side, I'd raised a lot more money than I could've ever given on my own and heightened awareness to breast cancer so all was not lost. I resigned myself to a run/walk on the big day. Race time neared and I started hemming and hawing. My husband, who was walking the 5K walk event, looked me squarely in the eyes and reminded me I'd trained for this and to go run it. As I started jogging, ASU cheerleaders, marching bands and just regular folks along the route cheered us on. That's what was missing from my street running! Marching bands and cheerleaders to keep me motivated! Before I knew it, I was dodging and passing other runners. At one point, my lungs started to constrict and considered walking a few minutes. Until my thoughts drifted to all the breast cancer survivors who COULDN'T run today, just walk, if they were lucky enough to be alive. I kept running and forgot about myself.

Even though the race is not timed, those of you who know me will not be surprised that I brought a stopwatch (there's that type A seeping out). 35 minutes, not record-breaking but not too shabby for my first 5K. And yes, I will be running another one.